For better or for worse?

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?

That is a pretty easy one for me to answer—Phantasia—no questions.

I have been sitting here wondering what to do with life. I feel like whatever direction that I do turn, turns out to be the wrong one. Have you ever just felt like you hit a dead end? I have. I feel that way now.

Maybe it is time for a trip home, to visit my family. I don’t know. Maybe I just need a good ole weekend at the tattoo shop; watching the guys be—well just that—guys.

I prefer not to be negative. I do think I try and find positives in situations. I feel broken. All I see now is negatives in people, not everyone but some. I hate that I see that. I see all this negatives in people that at one time I used to think they were amazing people. I don’t know, maybe I took off my rose-colored glasses and I am seeing them for who they really are. I guess I can best describe it as a kid finding out that Santa is not really a heavyset, white-haired, jolly-man that lives at the North Pole. Disappointing huh?

I was once told that I need to put myself first and not others. Why is that? Why can’t I put someone else’s needs before mine? I guess because people are in that ‘me-me’ mode that they feel that is the only way to meet their needs. I don’t know. This world is full of selfish people. I’m talking about people—that say they are friends—that can’t even take a moment to show that they mean it.

So to all of those people I truly feel sorry for your selfish ways. And even more I am sorry to myself for wasting my time. I believe that the best rewards in life are those that are accomplished in unselfish ways. Does it truly have to be a ‘me-me’ world out there? Has humanity seriously lost that touch of being considerate or empathetic to others?

I think I have made some huge changes in life these last couple of weeks. I just haven’t decided if they were for better or for worse…