What do you do when your ex-husband, the biological father of your daughter, is to be released from prison sometime this month? He had served his full sentence of 8 hard years in Texas. He won’t be on parole. He is free to be wherever he chooses.
Now what do you do to prepare your daughter for this? She don’t remember anything about this man—not one memory. She was barely one when we split up and he hasn’t seen her since.
Through letters he has written how much he is sorry for his actions and how much he missed out of Tiana’s life. All things that I do not feel sorry for him about…and I tell him just that. This man by law has the right for visitations with my daughter. I can’t begin to tell you what thoughts are racing in my head.
Now this same man, through letters, has repeatedly asked for a second chance. As he states “Heather, you have a piece of my heart and it would not be fair to try and love someone else when I would not be able to give them my full heart”. This is the same man that I married and didn’t love, but I know he did love me.
What do you do when you don’t know what to do?
I don’t want anything with this man. I don’t know if I can even have friendship with him. But in the instance that it involves my child—what does a mother do when her hands are tied?
2 comments:
Wow, I wouldn't even begin to know what to tell you. Only do what you are comfortable with. When I don't know what to do, I ask the people closest to me for advice, a few select family members and a few very close friends and then make my decision. I don't do that very often because usually the most important decision I am faced with lately is what's for dinner or what racing t-shirt to wear to the races. You are in a tough spot because your decision affects you and your daughter. You are a very intelligent person and a great mother and will make the right decision whatever that may be!
The thing is about doing what I am comfortable with, is that I don't want to change my life at all. I mean I know that sounds selfish and all but I raised her and I don't want the stress in her life.
Than I look at it through the laws eyes and if Keith shows up...I have to let him see her unless I think he is going to do harm or not bring her back. I would be held contempt of court go to jail and than see a judge who more than likely drop the charges of contempt of court beings the circumstances.
If you haven't guessed...I have spoken to a lawyer about it. I could take him back to court and request supervised visitations BUT again per the lawyer if the state thinks a parent can be a parent than they will allow visitations without changing. There usually has to be physical abuse that is founded.
Sigh.
I will talk to the ones that are closest to me and see what I need to do. I tried to look at the good and maybe this man changed his ways. He is the father of my daughter but as a mom I will always protect my children.
I really feel like in some way that I need to talk to Tiana about the situation but what do you say to a ten year old for her to understand. More so when she believes that people are good and she sees good in everyone. She loves everyone. <--she got those qualities from me...which I don't know if it is a good one.
Im not even sure that this man will try to come up and visit. I do know that he is in Bible College and maybe he will make it through. I hope so for his sake.
I do appreciate hearing that I am an intelligent person and a great mother. That is probably one of the greatest compliments I could ever receive.
I have a lot of thinking to do about this situation and Im sure it has only just begun. Sometimes I just like to write it out so I can go back and pick it all apart.
Hey, picking out supper can be tricky. There has been times I thought what I was cooking was what I wanted till I got finished and found out it wasn't. ;)
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