The remote control

What is it with never being able to find the remote? More so when it is MY turn to watch TV?

I am starting to believe that my kids hide the remotes from me. I don't watch a lot of TV but every now and again I like to flip between the channels. Coincidence that the remote "disappears" when I am wanting to watch TV? I think not.

Don't get me wrong, it is not that big of a deal. I am sure that there is much worse that has happened to me and there will be worse that will happen. I just find it humerous that everytime that I want to watch something I have to tear the livingroom apart to be able to sit down and flip through the channels to realize that there is nothing on TV.

Of course I have confronted my kids on "losing" the remotes and they all act like that they have no cue what I am talking about.

How funny.

Past meet my present

What do you do when your past tries to meet your present?

That is what happened for me today.

I woke up this morning with my phone saying I had a friend request on Facebook. I use my phone to access the request while I am still nice and warm under my covers. And there it is---the name of the person wanting to be my friend.

I was actually excited. I seen my dad's name. I click on his profile laughing that my dad even figured out how to make a Facebook account and imagining in my head what in the world would he be doing on Facebook.

I was wrong. It was not my dad. It was my brother.

I haven't spoken to my brother since my mom had her stroke in December 2001. That is a really long time. Dalton was only 4 months old, Ian was 2, and Tiana was 4. That's a lifetime ago.

I tossed the idea around in my head on accepting or not accepting the friend request. Maybe it is time to make "peace". I accepted his request.

My day got stranger. I got another blast from my past but this time it was an e-mail. This is more of a "recent" past---if that makes sense. A very simple e-mail stating "Hi. How have you been?" I have absolutely no intention of responding.

If you know me than you know I save everything that is ever sent to me in the form of an e-mail. Everyone that I have ever talked to via e-mail has their very own folder. Call me strange, weird, psycho---it don't matter to me.

Today I didn't add that e-mail to that folder.

Such a simple thing to most, but to me it was more. Not because I deleted the mean-nothing-to-me e-mail but because I changed my normal. I changed my routine.

And who says old dogs can't learn new tricks?

Menards

Dalton asked me if we can plant a tree. I thought why not? I researched trees and narrowed down the types that I am interested in.

The White Dogwood is by far my favorite.

The Tulip Tree is a close second.

The Red Bud ranks up there too.

So a friend and my boys went to Menards to see what kind of trees that they have. None of the ones I am looking for. I have decided I might have to order one to be delivered. Which is fine. At least than I will have one that I want.

I love Menards. I can browse through there for hours. I can look at anything from sinks to fences and everything in between. I picked out a few things that I wanted but as I have been thinking that I think it is about time to relocate.

Anyway, as we walked around the store Dalton started asking me questions---random questions. He asked me why I don't have a boyfriend. My friend laughed hysterically. I tried to tell Dalton that it was not the time or the place to have that discussion. He didn't accept that and my friend said "Dalton maybe you should find your mom one."

Dalton took this literally. I have never been so embarassed in my life. Seriously. Dalton is not a shy person. I am going shopping alone for awhile.

Regardless, we left Menards without a tree---well without anything.

Imagination

Tiana is babysitting this weekend and all the kids love having the baby around. I love watching them become "soft" around a baby.

Dalton decided this morning that we needed to watch Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. I didn't find anything unusual with this as we are a family who enjoys cartoons but I than heard him tell the baby "I picked this cartoon because it will help you have a great imagination when you get older. An imagination is important."

I laughed.

Reading for fun

So this morning I caught Dalton reading without me asking him too! I had to capture this as usually I have to get on him on reading. Now maybe it was the book that had the "3D popouts" that caught his eye. I understand this; however, he was reading the words off the page.

I was excited.

He was excited about what he was reading as he called Tiana over to listen on how many rows of teeth the shark has. Dalton loves sharks. He wrote a book last year all about Sharks. It was made into a hard cover book and I keep it with the hard cover book that Tiana and Ian made for me.

Anyway, Dalton was very into this book. He was telling me all about the bones and about how the size of the animal compared to humans.

The first piture he was not happy with me as I was joking with him and said "I think you are making this stuff up---you aren't reading."

Cursive

Tiana was practicing cursive with Dalton in the kitchen and this is what they came out with. Although his "M" has one too many "humps" I still loved it! I can't judge any ones penmanship as I write very illegible.

My kids are always getting me to smile!

**Wish I would have used my camera to take the pictures and not my cell phone. My new phone takes awful pictures--it doesn't even have flash! I couldn't believe it. I was debating on taking it back just for that fact.**

Patient satisfaction survey

I did what I do every Friday morning at work. I log in to the computer, grab my water from the refrigerator, grab the mail from my mailbox, and listen to my voice mails. It is routine and if you know me than you know I do most things in a routine.

As I was going through my mail I came across a voucher. On the voucher it read "You have went above and beyond. You were mentioned on a patient satisfaction survey. Thank you Heather." I won't lie it made me smile. I guess I am not sure what the voucher is for, I am assuming I can take it to HR and they give what the community calls "commerce bucks" and it can be used at 50 or so different businesses. I think I am going to keep the voucher as I like little 'reminders' as such.

Now this puts in perspective why my boss put me on the spot in the clerical meeting we had on Thursday. We had a little discussion on how to treat others internal and external customers. I was asked to explain how I conduct my phone etiquette. Not knowing why I was asked I just explained how I answer the phone and how I follow through with what I said I was going to do. I thought that was normally what others do. (At the hospital we use AIDET, which is Acknowledge, Introduce, Duration, Explain, and Thank.)

The meeting continued on about how there has been complaints internally and externally about how people are being treated over the phone. We were told we need to ask everyone what can I do for you and than do it regardless of how busy or how we do not think it is part of our job.

Not sure exactly how I feel about that.

Yes, I am all for going over and beyond my job duties. Yes, I am all willing to help out a co-worker. I am not liking the idea of asking my co-workers everytime I talk to them if there is something I can do for them---cause guess what---they will have things each and every time.

Regardless I did appreciate getting mentioned on a patient satisfaction survey. Curiousity has wanting me to know who it was but they are annoymous. I will find out next department meeting what was said about me.

Sticky notes---galore!

I arrive to work this morning and there are multiple different sticky notes on my monitor. I find this funny--very funny.

Normally I am the first to leave work as I am the first to arrive. So, usually when I come in to the office I notice something is missing off my desk. My pens, my rubber band ball, my sticky notes, my tuna creations, my scissors, my stapler, etc.

I have made the comment apparently one too many times--"if you want something of mine that is fine; however, please just leave me a note so I know". This way I won't wonder all day if I misplaced it or even better yet decide who (in my head) took the items.

Well, back to this morning and the sticky notes plastered on my monitor. I had multiple sticky's which stated "I took your yellow stickys---coworkers name", "I ate your almonds", "I took your pen--I like how it writes", "Heather, I will be late tomorrow", "Thanks!, etc".

Funny, my co-workers are funny.

At least I know my stuff was taken.

Great surprise!

Today I was at work minding my own business. I was actually completing the paperwork for the discrepancies on the time studies (time cards for employees)that I have found. I have to compare travel time to mileage to make sure people are not stating it takes 50 minutes to drive 3 miles. I have to look and make sure that they are honest on how many miles from client A to client B. I also look to make sure that they are not asking to get paid for things like driving to the office at the start of the day or to lunch, etc. Well that is the basics but there are some more.

Anyway, that is what I was doing when someone walked in and handed me a gift bag that had a card, a book, and a lottery ticket! What a fantastic Tuesday surprise! The things that mean the most to me are the thought behind something. To bring me a gift for no reason means much more than one which (I hate to say it this way) "expected". Let me explain. I don't ever expect a gift, but I am meaning a time like a birthday, holiday, etc. Does that make sense?

Regardless the card is sitting on my desk and tonight I am going to start reading the book. The lottery ticket was not a winner--but it was still fun.

This unexpected, amazing surprise made me appreciate all the people in my life. I have great friends and great family.

Lotus Touts

I received this e-mail a total of 18 times in the last week. I enjoyed it every time.

Lotus Touts

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as Important as any other.

THREE. Don`t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I`m sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone`s dreams. People who don`t have dreams don`t have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it`s the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don`t judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don`t want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don`t lose the lesson

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R`s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don`t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you`ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Remember this: A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Guilty and happy all rolled into one..

I feel guilty. Not because I have done anything wrong, but for how I feel.

This weekend a few friends and I went up to Cedar Rapids to visit another friend. During this trip we celebrated the April birthdays.

We started off with getting ready in our "black dresses" and the guys actually dressed up too. We went out to eat and made it to the Extreme Midget wrestling show. I am telling you the wrestling ring was tiny. It was at least half the size of a normal ring if not more.

I ended up getting an autographed picture from one of the midgets 'Bad Boy Brian". During the show the wrestlers would yell out to the crowd and get all the drunkards to yell back. Started off with "the women in Iowa are flat chested and if we didn't agree to prove it." The crowd was booing and cheering on their favorite wrestler and the wrestlers were definitely playing the crowd.

My best friend and I decided to be a couple that night as we walked around holding hands, laughing, buying each others drinks, and possibly a kiss here and there to show that we were "together". (We have been best friends since I was 13. Her boyfriend didn't come out with her and well I was available so we made the best of it.)

After the Extreme Midget Wrestling we went to a few bars. We sang karaoke, laughed, danced, and really had a very good time.

This is when I started to think. This is where I start feeling guilty.

I just realized I am the only single person in my group of friends. I was slightly jealous. I dislike jealousy in all forms so I am angry at myself for feeling this way. Don't get me wrong I am so very happy for all my friends--truly I am.

The friend we visited up in Cedar Rapids just met a great guy who is very supportive of her starting her photography business. They just met in December and are talking of getting married. This is my second friend who has met someone and quickly got married this year alone.

I listened to all the stories from my friends of how 'they' (meaning my friend and their partner) are going to do this, or how 'they' were surprised with that, or how 'they' met, or how 'they' fell in love, or what funny quirk 'they' have.

I never felt so alone or so excluded in a very long time.

All in all this weekend was a blast. I wouldn't change a thing. In fact I even tried a new food--sushi. I think I can go forever without ever having sushi. I can't believe people actually like this. I thought shrimp was the only food that grossed me out---I was sadly mistaken.

New favorite

I found a new favorite---spinach and mandrian orange salad with a poppy seed dressing. I had this for the first time last weekend in Des Moines (but with strawberries) and have been wanting it. Happy to say, I enjoyed it for lunch (without strawberries). Yummy!

Irritating, confusion, and dizziness...

This morning started with a mandatory meeting at the Bridgeview Center. Nothing of importance was mentioned. The hospital still doesn't know the new benefit package we will be receiving with the new company that purchased us. I can say this is slightly irritating as the sale was supposed to be completed March 31st and now is expected April 30th. Regardless we were told that in the next week or two we should know our new benefits.

After the meeting I went to work and you could feel the tension in the air from co-workers. It was one of those days that I was afraid to speak as someone was going to fly off the handle---and they did. Everyone at work is stressed out with the sell of the hospital as it means we have to discharge and readmit all of our clients. Which means long hours and lots of paperwork.

On a totally different note I receive a text from my bank that I had a deposit into my account. Confused as I wasn't expecting a deposit and more so over the amount. I logged into the online banking to see a child support payment of $26.73 was deposited in my account. I log on to child support recovery to see what is going on and I discovered that my first ex husband made his first child support payment. I thought that was a very unusual amount, but oh well.

Today is one of those days that I want to spin in circles till I become dizzy and than fall back in a bed of grass and laugh. Yup, that is what I am going to do after supper.

Moments...

Today at lunch I decided to do a couple of errands. Life has been chaotic and so I thought I could spend more time with my kids before class if I did my errands over lunch.

While out driving I noticed a small field of grass. As I stopped at the stop light I seen the wind moving through each blade of grass in which it made the grass quiver. It gave me a feeling of amazement, of happiness, of peace. It changed my day.

I got off work early today (my kids got out of school early too). I wanted to surprise them and spend the few hours I had before class with them. We talked about the day, the weather, and what the future brings. We laughed and teased. We hugged and smiled.

When I got out of class I talked to a friend. We shared dreams, wants, and much laughter. It warmed my heart.

I got home and sat outside to see the clear dark sky with millions of bright stars. It was so peaceful, so serene, so perfect. The wind was still, the night was silent, and the stars were bright. What a perfect night.

These are the moments in life that I live for.

Reading...

I am super excited as when I returned home my book that I purchased was waiting for me. I am now the proud owner of "The Element Encyclopedia of Birthdays". I have skimmed through and read my kids birthdays and a few other days.

As I have said before I do not live my life for horoscopes or astrology; however, I do have an interest. I like to compare them to my day and see how correct that they are. Sometimes they are dead on and other times they are completely off mark. Regardless, it entertains me.

Who would notice?

Do you ever think of who would actually care? I do. Sometimes I wonder if people would attempt to find me if I wasn't around. Who would notice if I was gone? Seen this picture and it made me think of that very thought.



Don't get me wrong, I have the best friends and family in the world and if they don't hear from me in a few days they become stalkers...well the ones I talk to on a daily basis do. It makes a person feel really good to know that they are thought about and missed.

Disclaimer: I am not saying run away to see who will come after you--that is a bit dramatic.

Encyclopedia of Birthdays....

Today I went to the substance abuse unit at the hospital and now that they are closing in three weeks everyone is packing up their belongings. In doing this one of the counselors had a book laying out "The Element Encyclopedia of Birthdays". Now most know that I love astrology. In saying this, it does not mean that I live by horoscopes or astrology, but I do enjoy reading about different possibilities.

Well, a bit about the book--you basically look up the day you were born and it lists "your true personality and reveals your destiny"--so it proclaims.

I do want to find this book for my collection. It was interesting.

Here is what I read on my birthday:

"The birthday of sensitive exuberance"

Like a ray of warm sunshine, the exuberant, energetic individuals born on November 18 have the ability to enliven any situation with their good cheer, optimism and humor. They are refreshingly upbeat in their approach to everyone and everything, and not surprisingly their company is much sought after.

Not only do they enjoy being the center of attention, they are also fiercely ambitious, making them natural candidates for leadership. Those who do not know them well, however, would be surprised to discover that underneath the happy face they present to the world there can be a lot of uncertainty and conflict. This is because they are unusually sensitive to the feelings of others, sometimes to the extent that they don't know where their feelings end and another person's begin. As a result, despite their clear potential and suitability to be winners or innovators in life, they often end up feeling confused, purposeless and directionless.

If they can find a way to balance their sensitivity toward others with their ambitious urge to realize their own life goals, their success is assured. If, however, the balance tilts in either direction they can lose a sense of direction; the indecisiveness that results can stunt their psychological growth, blocking their chances of professional and personal success.

Until the age of thirty-three there is an emphasis in their lives on issues relating to freedom, adventure and expansion. They may want to study, travel or experiment with their choice of career in these years. After the age of thirty-four there is an important turning point when they are likely to become more responsible, precise and practical in their approach to life, seeking structure and order. Whatever age they are, however, they need to use their sharp and probing mind to investigate their own power and potential. This is because with greater self-awareness and greater belief in their star potential--and a lot of dedication and hard work--these vivacious individuals can achieve almost anything they set their mind to.

LOVE (Exceptionally responsive)

People born on November 18 can be fun, sexy, entertaining, responsive, and romantic as long as their partner gives them plenty of attention and affection. But if the reassurance they need isn't given, they can lapse into attention-seeking behavior and temperamental mood swings. It is important for them to make sure they are with a partner who is as giving and energetic as they are.

HEALTH (Boosting self-esteem)

People born on this day tend to have a rather negative image of themselves, and this can make them prone to stress and depression. Boosting their self-esteem is therefore absolutely crucial to both their physical and emotional health. The place to start is in their heads, and cognitive behavioral therapy techniques may be able to help them reprogram their thoughts from negative to positive. Spending more time with people who are upbeat and optimistic, and avoiding those who are glum and self-involved, will also help, as will a diet rich in fresh, natural produce and low in refined or processed foods. Regular moderate to vigorous exercise is also highly recommended for its mood-boosting and health-boosting effects, as well as for building up discipline and will-power. Carrying a tiger's eye crystal or placing it next to their bed at night will have a balancing and calming effect, promoting greater confidence and courage.

CAREER (Born innovators)

People born on this day may be drawn to careers in science, research or technology where they can be potential innovators, as well as the world of art, music, and literature, where they can excel as writers. Once they believe more in themselves, other career options might include business, teaching, lecturing, politics, and the world of entertainment.

DESTINY (To point others in the direction of progress)

The life of people born on this day is to learn to believe in themselves and their creativity more. Once they are able to discover their sense of purpose, their destiny is to achieve or point the way to tangible progress on behalf of themselves and others.

YOUR GREATEST CHALLENGE IS....BEING DECISIVE. The way forward is to ask yourself when choosing between options what you really want to happen, not what others expect. Once you are attuned to your feelings, decision making gets a whole lot easier.

YOU'RE DRAWN TO PEOPLE BORN ON....March 21 to April 19. You are both energetic and outgoing, and this can be a passionate and fulfilling union.

LUCK MATTER....BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. How lucky you are in life is directly related to how much you believe you are worthy of luck. The more you think that success and happiness are your birthright, the luckier you will behave and be.

ON THE DARK SIDE---Needy, moody, and confused.

AT YOUR BEST---Innovative, entertaining, vivacious.

POWER THOUGHT--"I believe in myself. Anything is possible."

SIGNS & SYMBOLS

Sun sign: Scorpio
Ruling planet: Mars, the warrior
Symbol: The Scorpion
Birth date ruler: Mars, the warrior
Tarot card: The Moon (imagination)
Favorable numbers: 2 & 9
Lucky days: Tuesday, especially when these days fall on 2 and 9 of the month.
Lucky colors: All shades of red
Birthstone: Topaz

What side of brain do you use?

I was sitting here thinking about what side of the brain do I use. I mean I figure that I use both my right side and my left side but I am curious to know what side I use normally--what my dominant side is.

I did some research and came to an optical illusion of a woman spinning on one leg. If you seen her spinning clockwise you use your right side and if you see her spinning counter clockwise you use your left side of your brain. Well, it didn't seem to help me much as I could see her spin both ways---both counter clockwise and clockwise. Well, it seems to me that this is more of an optical illusion over a "test" to know what side of the brain I use.

Here is a link to the spinning woman:
http://www.where-what-how-why.com/?p=111

As I was skeptical of the spinning woman I decided to take a "quiz" to see what my results would be. As for the quiz I use my left side of my brain more than my right side. Hmm...

Which Side of your Brain Do You Use? Your Result: Left Side   The left side of the brain processes information in a linear manner. It processes from part to whole. It takes pieces, lines them up, and arranges them in a logical order; then it draws conclusions. You look at the details not the big picture. You use logic not imagination. The left brained person is a list maker. You would enjoy making master schedules and and daily planning. Learning things in sequence is easy for you. You are probability a good speller. Left-brained people memorize vocabulary words or math formulas better. You also use logic. When you read and listen, you look for the pieces so that you can draw logical conclusions. The left side of the brain deals with things the way they are-with reality. When left brain students are affected by the environment, they usually adjust to it. Left brain people want to know the rules and follow them. So basically you are smart! Congratulations!
Right Side
Which Side of your Brain Do You Use? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Basically, it goes like this:

Left Brain:

Logical

Sequential

Rational

Analytical

Objective

Looks at parts

Right Brain:

Random

Intuitive

Holistic Synthesizing

Subjective

Looks at wholes

As, I do see myself as using both parts of my brain, I do have to agree that I am left side dominant. (although I am a horrible speller and I am pretty random)

Next couple of weekends...

I am super excited over my next couple of weekends.

I will be in Des Moines this up coming weekend--which is always a good time. The following weekend is the little black dress party in Cedar Rapids/Iowa City.

Des Moines is always a welcomed trip as every night that I have spent there has been--lets say for lose of better words--interesting. I am sure that this night will be the same.

The little black dress party is going to be a blast. It always is when my best friend and I get together. There will be a group of us that will be going to celebrate two friends birthdays. I have my dress and accessories and can't wait to go out and make a fool of myself. It seems that alcohol brings that out in me.

Needless to say I am looking forward to both nights!!

Easter Morning

I did what a mother does, I waited for the kids to fall asleep and than I hid the Easter eggs through the living room. The boys woke up at 5:45 in the morning and down to Tiana's room they went to wake her too.

As I get up and walk to the living room, I notice that a lot of the eggs are not where I put them. Confused as there was a pile of them on the middle of the living room floor. I sit down on the couch and than Einstein shows himself. He was knocking them down and batting them around the room.

The kids found all the eggs and than the fun begins. We hide plastic eggs as my kids always leave me to dye the hard boiled eggs by myself. So it works better for us to just use plastic ones. I enclose candy and money in them so it works out best for them too. Dalton found the most money this year, Ian in a close second, and Tiana, well, lets say she had a pathetic finish.

It was a great to watch them hunt for the eggs and it makes me realize I don't have many more of those years left. How fast they grow. In fact, I think my kids just humor me through most of the holidays.

Now, it is time to make pina colada cake.

Love makes the world go 'round

What is true love? That is the question that a friend asked me today. It’s hard to describe love in words--none seem to quite fit. I mean words don’t seem to be able to express the feeling of love. I can say that any love is true. If you love someone—wouldn’t it be true?

I believe love is finding harmony, support and comfort in someone’s arms.
I believe that love is a great feeling of being accepted and belonging to someone’s world and accepting them in yours. That there is a permanent smile in your heart.

Love equals life. Life with someone and for that someone; when nothing else matters and yet everything does.

Confused yet?

Love is being happy, but not for yourself— but for the other person. Sometimes this means letting go to let the other person be happy.

A person that is so extraordinary and spectacular that when they look at you they touch your very soul. They can speak to your heart with just a smile. Thier kiss makes the world seem to stand still.

When this person smiles at you they speak to your heart--you know everything is going to be okay.

Love is when you prefer to be together through hard times rather than having it easy separately.

It is fighting for what you think is right for the both of you. It is holding on and hanging in each time things go wrong. It is supporting each other in the smallest and biggest of decisions or actions. Love is standing by when the whole world turns its back to you. It is being there even if they didn’t ask you. Love is knowing that they would do the same.

Love equals power.

Love gives the power to someone to destroy you, to hurt you, to break your heart, but trusting them not to. No matter what goes on or how badly you fight or what mistakes you make, you will love that one person without question.

Love is finding someone who is your friend, your partner, someone who is the right fit for you. This someone will touch your life so intensely and gives you a whole new reason to breathe. They will give you a reason to dream at night, a reason to wake each morning, a reason to live.

This person will make you smile when you want to cry. They will want to hear your voice before you fall asleep. They will understand you and love your quirks. They will believe in you. They will accept you. They will understand your imperfections. They will tell you daily how they feel. This person will be with you regardless of anything---nothing would matter as they would want to be there for you.

Love is a big responsibility. It is communicating; sharing thoughts, cares, concerns, wants, needs, emotions, and listening. Now don’t get me wrong. Love is a whole lot of work. It doesn’t come easy. You have to overcome challenges---fight to be together. Love means to hold on and not to let go.

Love does not just happen. You can find love but you have to work hard to keep it--to make it a beautiful union. If both people work for love you can have it for a lifetime.

After talking to my friend about what true love means to me. I did a lot of thinking—a lot of deep down thinking. I want to put my heart, my soul, my energy in to love as love is what makes the world go ‘round.

Drive back to Iowa

The trip home was long--very long.

We woke up first thing in the morning and was making great time. Dalton couldn't stand being in the car anymore so about every 45 minutes or so I had to hear "Mom, I have to go to the bathroom." It got old quick, but we always took the next exit. This made for an extended time in the car.

As the kids watched movies or played on their DSI's, I drove. I occasionally sent a text or two and actually got a lot of phone time in.

I called my dad and asked him to buy me a camero. Of course he wouldn't nor would I actually want him to. I do have to say I really, really want a camero. Maybe that is what I will get when I finally graduate--we will see.

I talked to some friends and we made plans to get together throughout the next few weeks. I got told the details to the little black dress party in the middle of April. Gave me a reason to go shopping today. I bought my dress and later in the week I get to go buy some red high heels to go with it. Should be fun.

We stopped in Missouri to see a friend. We played basketball and jumped on the trampoline. It was good to get the kids out to burn up some of their energy! I can say I was glad to be out of the car too.

Ohhh, on the trip home I was privileged enough to get pulled over and received a speeding ticket. First ticket I have got in years! Speeding tickets have gone up since my last ticket. Oh well, at least I made it all the way to Iowa before getting pulled over! Yup, I was within the last hour drive.

The trip was fun and I am very glad that we went. Hopefully I will be making the drive again this summer; however, it will be without the kids.

Kids were house shopping...

As I have said multiple times before my Aunt has been trying to get the kids and I to move to Texas. She has been suggesting that I move there since I was 14 years old! This last week was the first time that she got to try and plant the seed to move there in the kids.

We drove around her neighborhood and she had the kids pick out their favorite houses. I took pictures per the kids request of their top two picks. The kids are easier to get talked into moving to Texas. They were ready to pack up and move after the first day there.


This house is just getting finished and will be up for sale soon. So I am told by my Aunt.


Here is the other house the kids liked.

The kids liked these houses as they thought that they resembled 'castles'. Personally I had a different favorite, but am I moving? Nah, not this month.

More arcade...

Here we are playing at Chuck E. Cheese. The kids love playing the games and pretending to be in the movie. I am entertained by how the enjoy themselves.


Tiana and Dalton posing with Chuck E. Cheese. My Aunt is in the background giving bunny ears to Chuck E. Cheese!


Ian playing his favorite game...basketball. The kid is pretty darn good!


Tiana and Ian are enjoying the virtual rollercoaster.


Dalton 'riding' a horse. It was actually broken but he wanted his picture taken on the horse anyway.

Arcade

Here the kids took advantage of the arcade that was in the lodge. It was fun watching them play the games.


Ian and Tiana trying to get the ticket jackpot.


Dalton jumping to a 'virtual' jump rope. He was jumping pretty high!


Dalton trying to hit the thing when it pops up.


Tiana walking around trying to figure out what she wants to play.


Ian trying to find the right time and place to drop in his token.

Magi Quest

Here the boys are walking down the hallway after a night of swimming, arcade games, Magi Quest, and many more things that they have at the Great Wolf Lodge.


At the tree picking out the adventure.


Again at the tree completing one level and moving to the next.


Here the kids are buying and activating the Magi Wands. We were explained on how it works and given our book to follow to find our magical items. Honestly it was a lot of fun. Many families were completing the Magi Quest together. Tiana didn't care for it so she eventually went swimming while the boys and I completed a few levels.

Great Wolf Lodge Water Park!

Tiana posing for a picture after going down the waterslide.


Dalton showing off. He thinks he can do the splits. I want to know why he would want to!


Ian having fun and getting ready to go down one of the waterslides!


The lazy river. The area with that the kids run and play on have water guns that you can squirt the people who are just relaxing on the thier raft on the lazy river.


The kids are standing there waiting to get the water dumped on them.


This is the treehouse when we first walked in to the lodge. The kids had fun climbing up there to look around.

Monday

On monday my normal routine--my normal life--starts back up. I have to get back to work and extra early as I have been off all week. Classes at night and online have to be resumed and of course the kids go back to school.

I was once told that a vacation is anything that is different from the normal routine. Hmm...I see truth in that.

Also on monday I start my new routine. I decided I am going to lose the weight I put on. When I put my mind onto something I make sure it happens. The power of thought. I'm not quite sure how I am going to squeeze in an extra hour a day, but it will be done.

It will be a lot easier when I go to part time at work. At least I envision it to be a lot easier. Till than I guess I get up earlier as I all ready stay up late enough finishing up on things.

Talking about going to part time at work, I still have to tell my boss. Ugh. I pictured it in my head a thousand times and I thought I would enjoy telling her but I fear that is not the case. I feel like I am letting them down. I fear letting people down. I know that it is the best for me and my education but still I am dreading the talk with boss lady.

Oh, monday, you are coming way too quickly...

Pancho's

Today after the museum and Imax show we went to Pancho's to eat. Pancho's is a Mexican buffet. It was an experience to me.

You get in line with your tray like a normal buffet; however, you don't put your food on your plate the gentleman does that for you. Okay, I can handle that. We sit down and eat and the waiter comes to the table with chips and salsa. Again, I am okay with that. There is a flag on a pulley system that if you want the waiter you put the Mexican flag up and he will come to the table. This is where it got different for me. You put the flag up the waiter comes over and you tell him what you want from the buffet line. I didn't get that concept and either did Dalton. Dalton stated "I can go and get my food, he doesn't need to, he has lots of other people to help". It was uncomfortable for Dalton and I.

Okay, so it wasn't all that weird but it was different from what I am accustomed too. I don't like to cause anyone extra work or be a burden in even the slightest way. I would have prefered to get up and get my kids food for them at a buffet.

Oh well, it was good food though.

Firsts...

What did I do? Hmmm...

I rode my very first motorcycle. Okay, let me be honest, I rode on my very first motorcycle. Regardless, I had a blast. I was scared and excited all at once. I can see why people enjoy them. Maybe I will get brave enough to actually drive one next time.

Another first is I ate my first bite of chicken. Yup, you read that right. A chicken tostada at Pancho's Mexican Restaurant. I only ate a bite--but still it was chicken--and I did swallow it. It was everything that I thought it would be---stringy. Eww...

Rode a horse in Texas, that was a first, although I have ridden a horse before. Looked at a few neighborhoods and even a few houses.

I feel like I was working on my bucket list!

Say Cheese....

I brought my new camera on my trip to Texas with high hopes of some great pictures. The plan started out great till I realized the battery was low and I didn't bring the charger!

I was pretty bummed.

Quickly thinking I realized I keep my little digital camera in my purse. See this is why I carry a huge purse. I keep everything in it as there might be a time that I need quick access to something.

I pull out my camera from my purse and it wouldn't turn on. Ugh! Frustration was setting in. I did get some pictures of the first few days and I bought a disposable at Medieval Times last night. We will see how they turn out!

The show...

Just got back from the Medieval Times show and boy was it a great one! We had purchased an upgraded package which allowed up to sit up front and along with that we got extras like a souvenir program, a DVD of some sort, and a flag in our knights color to wave.

Well, upon our arrival, we had to wait a bit outside while they were getting things ready. There was another little boy maybe a year younger than Dalton and everyone knows that my Dalton is definitely not shy. Dalton befriended this kid and they talked and laughed and told stories. Well this was until we were given our crowns. The little boy was given a blue crown and we were given a black and white crown. Dalton instantly became enemies with his new friendship. They both had swords and dueled each other as we sat and waited for the show to begin.

Ian was a bit more reserved. He decided he wanted to buy a black and white jester hat. This was a great choice for him. As the night went on, Ian started to come out of his shell--he was cheering, chanting, and yelling for our black and white knight.

Tiana has enjoyed the show beforehand but bought a Tiara of some sort. She was excited again for the show. Last time she was given a carnation from our yellow knight.

So the food was served and of course our hands were our silverware and everyone ate like we were savages and this was the first meal all week.

The trumpets play and the show begun.

We have our crowns on and our flags in hands. Whenever the black and white knight passed by we woo'ed and yelled. When the green knight passed by we boo'ed and hissed.

It started with jousting. Two knights racing towards each other with the jousting sticks exploding into shards on impact. When the knight falls off the horse the battle moves to the ground. They start with swords and double edge axes. Sparks fly amongst the impact of their swinging weapons. One by one the knights are killed off.

The final show was our black and white knight against the green knight. The story plot thickened at this point as the green knight brought the kidnapped prince in the arena with arms tied with rope. The green knight was the 'bad guy'. But no fear our black and white knight saved the prince and destroyed the green knight.

I think that I spent more time watching the boys watch the show. The facial expressions and excitement they showed was absolutely priceless. In fact, I don't think Dalton sat during the whole show. He was on his feet yelling from start to finish.

At the end of the show there is a dance in the main hall with all the knights, lady, prince, king, narrator, and wenches.

Definetly a favorite of mine...

Words are only words...

It's no secret---I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I have been told to 'toughen' up multiple times. Maybe it is time I listen. Maybe it is time that I toughen my heart.

Hide my feelings. Build my wall.

Do I see a change coming on? Maybe. I mean everyone can't be wrong, can they? Is there something so wrong by letting someone know that your feelings are hurt, or that you care, or a variety of different things? Who knows the real answer.

It's an internal battle. Good or evil? Right or wrong? Change or not?

Today I went to the pond to think. To truly think of how I feel. It was a great 'think'. To see the reflection of the trees and the clouds in the pond; to feed the few ducks that were passing on by. It gave me time to realize a lot.

Words mean little to most, but they have always meant the world to me. A simple word, thought, feeling was all I ever needed. I came to realize that words don't mean anything if not backed with actions.

Words are merely that---just words.

A lesson learned...

Have you ever said something that was said the wrong way?

I have.

Have you ever taken something a way that it wasn't meant?

Again, I have.

Sometimes I overstep my boundaries---I say things without thinking them through. Not that I mean to but at times my mouth moves faster than my brain. But by the time my brain catches up---feelings can get hurt or anger sets in.

I never intentionally try to upset anyone. I prefer people to be happy. I try hard to help contribute happiness to others.

In knowing this, you can imagine how I feel when I hurt someone or get someone angry. I would never minimize how I made anyone feel, as I believe that people's feelings are valid---no matter if someone agrees or not.

A lesson learned though.

Will there be a move in my future?

I was asked to move to Texas. I won't lie---I am giving it some serious thought. To be around family would be nice; however, being away from the rest of my family would be hard.

I was shown around town and to all the places that would be an opportunity to work at. In theory it sounds wonderful.

I have talked to a good friend whom I am in the RN program with and we both have decided that we were going to move to a bigger city after completing the program. We have discussed staying in Iowa and possibly moving to Des Moines. This would be closer to my family and they actually have family right there. We actually have talked about moving to Texas too.Surprisingly they have been contemplating making a move to Texas themselves. How ironic?!

Regardless of where we move, I do know that we are completing our RN degree first--one year.

Medieval Times...

Tomorrow is my favorite of all of my Texas activities. I haven't missed a show when I was down since I started to come to Texas--Medieval Times!

Last time Tiana and I was down we cheered for the yellow knight. I wonder what color knight we will have this time. This will be the boys first time going. How exciting.

There is something about this era that I love. Maybe it is my little girl inside of me who loves the fairy tales when the knight saves the princess and the ride off on the horse. Might be but regardless I enjoy watching the performance.

Before the show we will go in to the torture chamber and look around the castle. We will see the knight's thrones and will be given a crown to wear in which it represents the color of our knight. I am personally hoping for yellow again--I am bias though--it's my favorite color.

So an update on how it goes will be in the near future...

The Lodge

At our stay we have done many things around the hotel.

The obvious is the water park. We have spent hours swimming. But there is soo much more...

When exploring the hotel we noticed these treasure chests set up randomly throughout the place. Curiousity gets the best out of me. I see kids with what at the time looked like sticks going up and pointing them at these treasure boxes. Hmmm....interesting I thought. As I watched I noticed that the treasure boxes responded--they talked!

I just had to know. The kids and I went up to some kids that was on this hunt with their dad. We asked what it was called, how to play, and where to begin. The helpful family walked us to the store to get us started. We activated our Magi Quest wands and our journey begun in the "Training Room".

We picked our Quest at the tree as instructed and off we went. Up five floors, down two, up one, down three. All we did was hunt for the next clue. We got into the game and went up a few levels. We didn't get to finish yet but we will see.

There were so many kids and adults waundering around on this "quest"--it kept people busy.

Along with the quest there was much more to do. We played in the arcade. We got airbrushed tattoos. The kids decorated Crocs (ugh, the ugliest shoes--but they just 'had' to do it) There was storytime by the big fireplace and still there was much, much more.

Something I loved was the kids were able to make me a flip picture book. The picked out props and got to make a seven second video. It was printed frame by frame and put together. Now all I do it flip quickly through the pages and I get to see the kids dancing. Very cool.

I got to say this place is worth the stay! (I'll post pictures soon)

Chuck E. Cheese

As any guilty mom would feel for "forcing" her eight year old to get a fat and bloody lip, I took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch.

We were the first people to the place so it was kind of nice to have it to ourselves. Joe, the training manager at Chuck E. Cheese, was the man who greeted us. Joe asked us what we were celebrating. We explained it was Spring Break. He congratulated us and asked us where we are from(Spring Break here was last week). I told Joe that we were from Iowa and he quickly asked from where. I explained that we have lived on both sides of the states and that we are currently in Ottumwa. Joe started to laugh and stated that he himself was from Iowa---Des Moines, actually. I didn't believe Joe. I called Joe a "liar head" and insisted that he says that to "everyone".

Joe started talking really fast and was telling us that he just moved to Texas. That he is the training manager for Chuck E. Cheese and worked in Des Moines. That he was born here in Texas but his mom moved him to Iowa when he was growing up. That just recently he transfered down to the new Chuck E. Cheese to help train.

Thinking, I asked Joe to show me his driver's license (if he just moved here chances are he hasn't got a Texas license yet). He reached into his wallet to pull out his Iowa driver's license. By golly Joe was honest---he was from Iowa.

Pizza was on Joe.

Howlin' Twister

The kids and I arrived to Texas around six o'clock in the evening on Tuesday! The drive went very well and the kids didn't mind it.

We spent the majority of our time so far enjoying the indoor water park. With the lazy river, wave pool, kids play area, and of course a whole lot of water slides.

About the water slides...um...Dalton really didn't want to go down the Howlin' Twister but I kinda, sorta talked him into it. Not really a great idea--which I soon found out.

We get on and he automatically was angry with me because it is pitch black and than we go down a huge straight drop and up one side and down the other of this great big tunnel. All I could say was "Don't let go". We get to the end and Dalton is crying and his face is being held in his little hands. I get off the raft and pick him up. His hands are filled with blood.

I asked him what happened and his knee came up and hit his mouth when we had the drop off in the slide. Boy, do I feel awful at this point---don't know if I could feel any worse---well I will feel worse in a bit. So the lifeguard blows her whistle and puts a closed fist in the air. Next thing I know I have four men checking on Dalton and asking a whole slew of questions.

The one guy gets Dalton some gauze to put in his mouth and an icepack for the swelling. As he was sitting there talking to Dalton he said "At least you were having fun till this happened". Dalton quickly and sharply replied "No, I wasn't. My mom MADE me go on that slide. I didn't want to!"

This was the point that I felt worse.

Needless to say Dalton is doing just fine---a fat lip and a little cut on his lip.

Hmm....yea...

"I am sure that you think that you understand what I said; however what you think you heard, is not what I meant."

Yup, that sums it up.

I am me; nothing more.

Multifaceted or complex doesn't even begin to describe me. I am kooky, zany, shy, aggressive, timid, affectionate, mysterious and practical. Why box myself into being entirely one thing or another? How boring would that be?

I am me; nothing more.

The thing is...I love my random self. I love that I like staying home on a weekend to color with the kids or having a grill out with friends; or I love that I am random and like to understand why and how things work; or that I would sit and talk to a friend rather than go to a bar at night; or that I value family; or that in the middle of one subject some other topic will pop in my head that I get excited about.

Sometimes I wonder if others reflect on themselves as I do. I like to better myself in any small way that I can. I think that is vital for success. I notice that some people are okay with just surviving. I wonder why that is?

Like I have said many times. I thrive on learning and making myself a better person in all aspects of life. I want to be a better mom, a better employee, a better partner, a better sister, a better cook, a better daughter, a better friend,a better student, well just a better me.

I take things personally when given any amount of criticism. Not that I really mean to but because I see it sort as a weakness on my part. The good thing is sometimes it turns out to be a learning experience. Can't fix something that I don't know is broken type of mentality.

Seriously how do people expect someone to work on something that they didn't know was an issue? This is where communication is key. I believe that sometimes people don't use communication and that is truly sad.

Things that go unsaid can't be fixed. Wants can't be filled if not shared.

I can't say that I never do this. I am famous for saying nothing is wrong just to save a persons feelings or to not have a fight. I am guilty of this.

I am not perfect. Far from that, to be truthful.

I love communication. I love the comfort of being able to openly communicate wants, thoughts, feelings, expectations, wishes, or whatever random thought that might go through my head at any given moment during the day. That is what I desperately want.

I would love to lay in bed with someone some random night to talk about a movie, a class, the trip to the store, cheese, the color yellow, whatever it is it doesn't matter.

I will have this in 2010.

Thinking

I had a friend ask me today after they heard I didn't sleep last night "What were you thinking about?"

Well be careful what you ask for....

Sometimes at night I lay in bed awake not able to fall asleep. I lay there in bed thinking about life.

I think about my kids. I want them to be happy, healthy, and safe. Honestly isn't that ever parent's wishes for their children? Recently in town there was some middle school kids caught 'huffing' and another kid who died by playing 'choke out'. There is only one middle school in town so of course I had to sit my kids down and talk about the dangers in 'huffing' and 'choke out'. These are things that kids shouldn't have to even know about these things let alone worry about them. It makes me sad and scared for children.

I think about family. They want me to move closer to 'home'. I love to visit back 'home' but is it really bad of me that I don't have any desire to move back? I will gladly visit but it is not 'home' to me.

I think about school. Am I making the best decision on going back to school full time and working part time? I know that taking the classes during the day will definitely speed up the process. And that is a great thing.

I think about love. I am tired of going to bed alone. I find myself dreading going to bed. Funny how I never feel as alone as I do as when I am in bed. Nothing changed but still being in a bed without someone makes a person feel lonely. Is it really that hard to find and maintain a relationship? It shouldn't be.

I think about friends. How I want to be there for them through everything but I know that I can't be. Sometimes it is okay to say no.

I think about if I became more forward with what I want--that maybe I can get it? Who would have known that concept? Crazy, I know. Still it is just not me.

I think about looking for a house in the country. In my mind I picture a house just outside of city limits with a small pond and a large yard. I imagine a summer night sitting outside reading a book and being able to look up at the sky and enjoying the stars.

I think that I think way too much!

Now writing about me thinking has actually fot me thinking. What a shocker!

I am confused. Truly confused. Which makes me think much more than normal.

Soon we will be in Texas

Three days.

Three days till the kids and I drive to see our Aunt in Texas. This will be the boys first journey to Texas and their longest car trip. This will be Tiana's third venture to Texas and well I have been there multiple times since I made my first trip when I was fourteen.

The kids are excited and to be honest so am I. I always enjoy visiting my Aunt and seeing what new paintings that she has created. She has great talent and creates some beautiful paintings. I know that she has some 'projects' to do with the kids when they get there.

I talked to my Aunt this morning and told her of my recent decision to enroll back into the day program at IHCC. She said "Heather, your education should be your priority at any age. I offer you again to move and complete your education here in Texas but I know that is not what you want, but the offer is still there." She is very sweet.

I tried to decline nicely by stating that I am too scared to move there. She called me out on that fact. "Heather, that is bologna. You and I both know that you aren't scared. Any woman that will pick up her kids and move away from her hometown is not scared of moving. You have proved over and over that you are a strong woman."

She than went to reassure me that it is okay that I don't want to move there but if I ever decide to she guarantees that I will never want a 'northern winter' again. She is right, I wouldn't miss the winters, but home is home here in the Midwest.

Soon I am sure I will send Tiana down to Texas by herself in the summer for a couple of weeks. It scares me that she is almost the age I was when I took my first plane ride to Texas. Not only was it my first plane ride but I did so alone. That seems like only a few years ago to me, but realistically it was sixteen years ago. I feel old.

I feel like life is surpassing me faster than what I want. It seems that my kids have grown up in the blink of an eye. It goes way too quickly. Which is a reminder that in another blink of an eye my kids will be grown and have a family of their own. To watch my kids grow up has been the best part of my life.

Which brings me to I want to be a grandma (not anytime soon). I want to have multiple grand kids as I believe children are the purest form of happiness. I want grand kids to spend the night and to be able to sit them down and tell them stories. I want to take my grand kids camping yearly--as a tradition--so they look forward to it as much as I do.

Hmm..how did going to Texas got me thinking about grand kids? Interesting how the mind works.

Summer School

As everyone that knows me knows that I have been attending night classes and taking online classes.  After much thinking (and discussion) I have decided that I wanted to go back to Indian Hills fulltime and during the day. 

I have went and talked to the person that runs the nursing program at IHCC and by the time that I had left I signed myself back into the fulltime day program which starts this summer.  The better thing is I have completed all but one of the arts and science classes needed so I really only have to focus on the nursing core classes. 

While taking some of the shorter terms that I will have I plan on taking some psychology classes that will transfer over for my minor in psychology.

I am truly excited.  This shortens my schooling by almost a year and it also gives me more of an opportunity to take some classes that I can use to further my education as I plan to do. 

Who knows exactly when I will finish with all my education. But I do have a plan.

Tuna Creations

As everyone knows--I don't eat much meat. I have been eating meat more often lately--still haven't been brave enough to try a new meat. Small steps; very small steps.

I can't remember who told me to try the tuna creations and as I was shopping the other day I picked a couple up. I hesitantly tried the garlic and herb flavor and decided I love them!

I immediately called a friend who I knew would enjoy them as much as I did. They went out and got some Tuna Creations of their own and verdict came back that they loved them too.

I see in my future chicken....

One hundred and one reasons

I was given some advice from a friend.

"If life gives you one hundred reasons to be sad; think of one hundred and one reasons to be happy."

I am not a 'down' type of person--normally. I have a tendency to remain positive and look at the bright side of life. On an occasion I get sad or confused or alone or just...well...sad.

Anyway, I thought that advice was amazing, as I have so much to be happy for.

I guess you can say I wanted to share.

What was Friday made of?

I could kick myself for making a lab appointment at 6:20 this morning. On a normal day--whatever that is--it would have been fine as I would be awake long before than. But nooooooo, Heather, was to go into work late today. So I had to give up sleeping in to get up at my normal time to get up and get stuck with a stupid needle. Ugh!

So that is how my Friday started.

If that wasn't bad enough, as I was sitting there getting ready to get my labs to be drawn, I reminded them that I don't particularly care for needles. I know, I know! I have tons of tattoos, but that is different--really it is. They promise to be 'gentle' on me and that it would be over before I knew it.

Not once, not twice, not even a third time....yup I was stuck four times before they had success in drawing my blood for labs. So much for being 'gentle' and 'quick'. I even got bruises where they poked and prodded.

Ah, really, it wasn't THAT bad but it is something I don't like having done.

After I get my labs drawn I run to my second job to administer some TB skin tests and note doctor orders. Wait--back up slightly--as I was walking into the building Willa, who is retired but still chooses to work as housekeeping, stopped to talk to me. She is amazing. She is seriously in her late 70's or early 80's and it just as sharp or sharper than most people I talk too.

A few months ago she was sitting by the time clock when I came to clock in and I asked her what was wrong and she stated her leg was killing her. I had to get someone over to get her as she had a blood clot. I sent her a card along with a plant and ever since she tells me she loves me and that she has never had a friend like me before. Now we work in different buildings and it is a treat to run into her.

Anyway, she asked me about my kids and told me about her grand kids. Asked me if I had a boyfriend and offered to find me one. She told me about her latest shopping spree and of her latest spat with her husband. She looked at me and said "Heather, I miss you." She got teary-eyed and gave me a hug with her "I love you, Heather".

That was a great moment.

Now, after that moment I went to work at my second job, administed TB's and noted doctor orders.

Arrived at my first job early. I am trying to get things caught up but it wasn't going to happen today. I got asked to do orientation with one of the new hires in the morning instead of the scheduled time in the afternoon. She was early and nobody knew what to do with her so I gave her orientation and when I finished it was just about time to give the other new hire orientation. I had two interviews today and a whole bunch of paperwork to get caught up on.

When I left. I was 100% caught up on everything besides policies. I am going to go into work on Sunday and Monday specifically only to do policies. I still won't be caught up but it will take a chunk out of them. There is only about a few hundred needing to be done--months ago--and another few hundred that are coming up to need revised. I will do what I can.

Today the office personal was growly and everyone was walking on glass as it was a day nothing could be done right---even if it was. The only thing I can say about that is I got two notes saying that I was appreciated for following policy and procedure and for the work that I do. Pbbbt...please. Tomorrow a new personality will emerge and I will not be able to meet standards once again. That's life.

Tonight, I am going to enjoy!

What was I thinking?

Sooo...

In Microbiology tonight we had to play around with bacteria. Nothing with a harmful strain. These are all bacterias that are not going to harm us--at least that is what the teacher tells us.

I find it hard to believe that bacteria E. Coli is not going to cause any harm. The instructor has reassured me multiple times that this strain does not harm humans. I had to take his word.

So as I am prepping my lab materials to test a few bacterias I smashed the amulet (as instructed) to see if my bacteria would turn colors. It didn't.

Let me back up to the funny part of this experiment after I smashed the amulet in this little tube the size of a tube of super glue. I forced the lid off (as I thought this was the correct procedure) The instructor seriously stopped and watched me pour this junk all over (not the E.coli just the stuff to see if would turn colors).

I really wish I could have seen my face. I was in disbelief that I got that junk all over my lab sheets. The instructor grabbed my tube placed the lid back on it and said "Heather, the lid is meant to stay on, there is a hole." I laughed and wasn't allowed to have the tube back. He administered the drop for me as I obviously was having a hard time with it.

What gets me is he watched me struggle to get the lid off and didn't speak a word with me dumping it all over the place. He enjoyed me making a fool out of myself.

I have a sense of humor and I laughed as it makes perfect sense to keep the lid on and I don't know what I was thinking. I have no idea what caused me to do what I did. However, I took it with a grain of salt. I chuckled and whispered atleast I didn't break the glass beakers like the other girl did. Instuctor at least found humor in me.

Lets say lab for me was carefully monitored the rest of the evening...

Choices are chances to learn...

I have been doing a tremendous amount of thinking lately. I consume myself in thoughts. Have you ever got to a point in life where you have two paths to take? How do you pick which one?

I have came to a fork in the road.

Do I go beyond my normal comfort zone and pick the path that scares the living crap out of me? Or do I go with my comfort zone and continue with a nice path in which life is known to be good?

I am usually not a risk taker, I'd rather have a plan---in most things. I don't put myself completely out there, I tend to be more conventional. I like to be approached rather than pursue. I look at the details along with the big picture, but sometimes I need reminded along the way.

I have been told many times if the same thing is not working--change it. Makes complete sense. Why am I afraid of that change? I don't believe I am actually afraid of the change in itself but more of the fear of not knowing what the outcome is. As I said I tend to like the calculated risks.

It's times like tonight, I miss having someone to come home to. Someone to sit up and talk with, to laugh with, to feel the warmth of their arms. To have someone to discuss problems, decisions, thoughts, dreams, emotions, achievements, and fears is what I desire tonight. Having someone to listen and understand when making a decision is one of the best gifts in life. It amazes me how many people take that for granted; how they take people for granted.

I have done my wrongs in previous relationships and I have learned so much from them. The one thing I have learned over the years is patience. Patience didn't come easy for me at first as I have a particular way I like things done. I like to know everything and it is extremely hard to think that there is a chance that I might have to wait on something or someone else. Don't get me wrong, patience is a trait that I have aquired. I live with patience--lots of it.

Beings I am now blessed with patience and have the ability to understand that others may have a different opinion on what is right or allowed. I have learned over the years of acceptance. You have to accept people as who they are. Good, bad, and the ugly. You can not change them as they have to want to change themself.

Over the years I have learned that it is vital to stand by people through good and bad. Stand by their dreams and goals. Encourage as they move forward and backwards. Let people know that you are going to be there for them as you would want someone to be there for yourself.

One of the biggest things I have learned is you get what you give. If you give 110 percent you will get more than if you give 60 percent. This holds true in all aspects of life; love, work, friendships, etc.

Enjoy the little things. I can't mention enough of the little things that I have in the last few years--I enjoy them so much-- and 10 years ago I would have not given them a thought.

Manners and respect can go a long way with a person so I have learned. Please, thank you, and I am sorry are little words that mean so much.

The one thing that I admire the most is the ability to see the good inside people.

Back to my original thought process--which path do I take? To go down either path there will be a learning expierence and there is good that awaits.

Blue skies and white fluffy clouds

Have you ever just stared up at the clouds passing by?

I do. Actually, I did today.

I pick out shapes that the clouds appear to represent. For example:

I seen a duck who looked like he was drinking water.

A person who looked like they were doing the Egyptian.

A dinosaur. More specifically a Pterosaurs.

I am truly excited about the warmer weather. It will be no time at all before camping commences! I really am starting to believe that I am "different" than others. Good or bad, who knows. However, soon I will be able to to lay back underneath a shade tree on a warm summer night. I will be able to close my eyes and listen to nature, to clear my head, to appreciate the smell of the outdoors.

These are the days that I live for--blue skies and white fluffy clouds.

Now that I am thinking about it. In my next relationship, I insist on days like that.

Des Moines

The kids and I enjoyed a night up in Des Moines. The boys were excited because the couch pulled out into a bed and they wanted nothing more than to sleep on it. Which left Tiana and I having our own bed. The beds were comfy, but the pillows were better.

We met some friends up in Des Moines and we went swimming, shopping, playing glow in the dark mini golf, out to eat a few times, and later in the evening night, the kids stayed with a friend while another friend and I went out to enjoy a few drinks. About the drinks, I do feel like they contain much more alcohol up in Des Moines than they do down in Ottumwa. I wonder why that is.

When we were leaving this morning Tiana said to me "Mom, I like Des Moines better than Ottumwa...and I know that you said you don't want to move back to Sioux City, but could we move here?" Tiana is my child who doesn't like the smaller town of Ottumwa. Ian and Dalton was definetly giving encouraging words of wanting to relocate to the big city.

I am not opposed to the idea of relocating and definitely not opposed to a bigger city.

Fortune Cookie

Today I was nonchalantly eating my lunch which happened to be chineese. I ordered steam veggies and rice. I was angry after I got it because it contained peas! Who would want peas?! Anyway, I made due and even ate some peas.

The fun part of my meal is when I opened my fortune cookie. I got two fortunes inside my cookie!

"Respect will get you far." "Small kisses mean big things."

Now knowing me I want to statistically know the odds of getting two fortunes in one cookie. I have no idea on how to go about this but I am going to try and see if I can find something or someone that can tell me the odds.

A little silly side note. I keep my fortunes.

Hmm....must be my lucky day!

Bloody Mary

Tonight I enjoyed a nice extra well done steak. It was yummy. As most knows I don't eat much meat. In fact when I do it makes my tummy upset. More than likely because my body has no idea what meat is.

So while I was enjoying this steak, I was also enjoy the company of a few friends. We sat around and talked, laughed, and enjoyed stories from each other. Good times.

As I have had a few minor 'stresses' in my life I figured I would have a drink. I had my first bloody mary tonight. It reminded me just like V8 juice, which makes sense as it was made of tomato juice. I didn't taste any alcohol. It was pretty good.

It was a nice way to wind down this week.

Thank you friends!