I had got in trouble at work today. Yup, me. I have never been written up in the 15 years that I have been employed. Not once. Today, I was told that I am no longer able to be on lunch break and continue to work. It was strongly suggested that I remove myself from the office during this break.
Don't get me wrong I think everyone is entitled to a break---I really do take one now and again---more times than not I do not. My normal work day consists of getting to work before my scheduled time as I am the first one to arrive to the office and it is easier to get things done.
I will admit---I do not like the feeling of not getting my job completed. I like to finish my job. Not only do I want to finish my job, I want it done right and on time. This is not easily done when it seems that the more you get done on time the more you get added to your workload.
I find it easier to sit at my desk and continue to work while I have lunch. I can be entering payroll or charges, typing a new SOP, or whatever it is that needs to get done. I was staying productive. Not anymore. As of tomorrow I need to start stepping away from my desk and "enjoy" my lunch in a break room. I dislike break rooms. There is all that negative gossip and people talking about others, etc. I just can not wait to experience this all.
On top of this great news I was told that on March 31st I would have to work late. Not just like a hour or two late but till all charges, payroll, billing is caught up. As of April first the hospital will be for profit. Meaning everything has to be up to date for the change over. I don't believe my boss was pleased with me when I said that I would not be at work late on March 31st--in fact it was more disbelief. Now this the first time I told my boss I would not come in to be the "team" player but I explained that I have night classes and unfortunately March 31st I have class.
It only got better from there as I was asked to change my vacation, work late, come in on days off, etc. As I sat there wondering how things are going to get done and how anyone thinks we can do all the transformation that is needed to be done by April Fools Day, I seriously found myself shaking my head.
Deep down I know that I will give my best to get what I can done by this deadline. I will put in more hours than most and I will take on others tasks. Also deep down I wish I would stop making work my life.
There is times in life where I use work as almost armor to keep myself from being hurt. I mean if you think about it--if I am working--I can't date, I can't go out, I can't be hurt. It is always that good standby excuse "I'm sorry but I have to work".
I was told by a great friend that I need to live life the way that I work. I never put much thought into that before. Tonight it has consumed my thoughts. Life is beautiful so don't waste it. Appreciate it with all of your heart.
2 comments:
did u just say u wish work was not ur life? u feeling ok?
You read correctly and I am feeling just fine--great actually.
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