Counseling with the ex? I think not!

Grr...seriously how frustrating can an ex be?

I stopped communicating with my second ex-husband per his request a couple of months ago. It was working out so well for me. Anyway, today the silence was broke...

My phone goes off with a text message asking if I would talk to him. Well, I can't really say no beings he is the father of my kids so I said yes. Next, my phone rings. I answer not knowing what I am getting into with this conversation.

"Heather, I don't care if you get mad, hang up or whatever, I just don't care, but I am going to say this anyway....I think that you and I should go to counseling."

What?! I remained silent as I was unsure if I just heard him right. This same man who will talk over me just so he doesn't have to listen to a word I have to say wants to go to counseling??

I mumbled, "what?" He repeated himself. I said "Okay, I understand what you are saying but why are you saying this?" His quick reply "Because regardless of the good, bad, or ugly----you are my kids mom. That's it. But Heather you always blame me for everything." I waited and listened to his pity him sob story for about ten minutes and than I calmly stated "I don't blame you for anything. I speak the truth, provided by the facts".

This "blaming" he is talking about is the incidence that happened over the summer in which he let his girfriend bleach my daughters hair without a mention to me. When I found out I made the trip across the state to take her and get her hair back to "as normal as possible". In his eyes, it is my fault.

This conversation progressed into a further conversation to where I didn't want it to go---back to why we got divorced. Seriously, does it even matter? I mean we separated in 2005 and divorced in the later part of 2006. I am happy.

He went on to say he was miserable in our marriage and that I was happy. It amazes me the delusional thoughts going through this mans head. I responded "If you were unhappy and miserable, I am glad that we got divorced." Knowing exactly that I filed for divorce and that I moved across the state to start over I couldn't believe he believes that I was happy. I mean this guy was not a faithful husband and well he was not a very kind and loving man either. He did, and I am sure still does, have some great points about him, but the point being I obviously wasn't happy either.

I am not sure what sprung this conversation from him but it extended to "Heather, I haven't slept with another woman besides my girlfriend since two Octobers ago." Not knowing the point of all this and assuming that he felt some need to get this off his chest I endured a long conversation with a man whom I prefer to speak very minimally too. As I listened thoughts went through my head---he cheated on me with his girlfriend he has now---and that was in 2005 so I am happy that he hasn't cheated on her for the last two years out of five!

Not really knowing why I had to endure the conversation that I did or even why I allowed it. I understand it takes two to have a conversation, but I am also a person that has a heart and obviously he felt strongly enough to break the silence to let me know all of this. Sometimes I worry that he has some degree of mental illness, if not he is just completely sick.

All-in-all, the conversation meant absolutely nothing to me. I don't understand the rationale. It always seems when things are going great---they can get weird quickly!