Yesterday was my dad's birthday and I didn't get to talk to him on the phone as he was working. I called him today and spent about a hour on the phone talking to him. He told me that he was lonely on his birthday.
He has been thinking about dating but that he didn't think that he could date because women 15 years younger than him have bills and he don't think he could love anyone enough to pay their bills. This stems from an earlier conversation in which he doesn't find overweight women attractive. I tell him to get over it as I am overweight and I have a great personality. I told him in his age he is going to have to accept some "flaws"--if you can call them that--or win the lottery because if he thinks he is going to date a 20 or 30 year old he best be ready to pay her bills.
Anyway, my dad was guilting me as the kids and I don't live nearby and he spent his birthday without a cake. So, to give an idea of what the sense of humor my family has this is what happened next.
I call my sister--who's birthday is today, the day after his--to tell her to bring HER a birthday cake to his house. I explained to her that he was feeling sorry for himself and trying to guilt me into feeling sorry for him too. It didn't work.
My sister went to Hy-Vee and asked them to write on the cake "Fuck your birthday, let's celebrate mine!". They did. She took the cake over to my dad's and he thought it was hilarious.
My kids have no chance of being "normal"---whatever that might be.
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