Thursday, September 30, 2010

Quotes...

I love to read; however, I don't get as much time as I would enjoy to do so. In the winter I get more opportunities than the summer---so a good book will be in my future soon.

In the meantime I have taken a passion of reading quotes.

One of my favorites today:

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."-Buddha

Interpretation: Do not allow yourself to get hung up on things that have already happened, or worry about about things that may happen. Concentrate on what your are shooting for right now and everything else will
take care of itself.

Oh, how very true!

Counseling with the ex? I think not!

Grr...seriously how frustrating can an ex be?

I stopped communicating with my second ex-husband per his request a couple of months ago. It was working out so well for me. Anyway, today the silence was broke...

My phone goes off with a text message asking if I would talk to him. Well, I can't really say no beings he is the father of my kids so I said yes. Next, my phone rings. I answer not knowing what I am getting into with this conversation.

"Heather, I don't care if you get mad, hang up or whatever, I just don't care, but I am going to say this anyway....I think that you and I should go to counseling."

What?! I remained silent as I was unsure if I just heard him right. This same man who will talk over me just so he doesn't have to listen to a word I have to say wants to go to counseling??

I mumbled, "what?" He repeated himself. I said "Okay, I understand what you are saying but why are you saying this?" His quick reply "Because regardless of the good, bad, or ugly----you are my kids mom. That's it. But Heather you always blame me for everything." I waited and listened to his pity him sob story for about ten minutes and than I calmly stated "I don't blame you for anything. I speak the truth, provided by the facts".

This "blaming" he is talking about is the incidence that happened over the summer in which he let his girfriend bleach my daughters hair without a mention to me. When I found out I made the trip across the state to take her and get her hair back to "as normal as possible". In his eyes, it is my fault.

This conversation progressed into a further conversation to where I didn't want it to go---back to why we got divorced. Seriously, does it even matter? I mean we separated in 2005 and divorced in the later part of 2006. I am happy.

He went on to say he was miserable in our marriage and that I was happy. It amazes me the delusional thoughts going through this mans head. I responded "If you were unhappy and miserable, I am glad that we got divorced." Knowing exactly that I filed for divorce and that I moved across the state to start over I couldn't believe he believes that I was happy. I mean this guy was not a faithful husband and well he was not a very kind and loving man either. He did, and I am sure still does, have some great points about him, but the point being I obviously wasn't happy either.

I am not sure what sprung this conversation from him but it extended to "Heather, I haven't slept with another woman besides my girlfriend since two Octobers ago." Not knowing the point of all this and assuming that he felt some need to get this off his chest I endured a long conversation with a man whom I prefer to speak very minimally too. As I listened thoughts went through my head---he cheated on me with his girlfriend he has now---and that was in 2005 so I am happy that he hasn't cheated on her for the last two years out of five!

Not really knowing why I had to endure the conversation that I did or even why I allowed it. I understand it takes two to have a conversation, but I am also a person that has a heart and obviously he felt strongly enough to break the silence to let me know all of this. Sometimes I worry that he has some degree of mental illness, if not he is just completely sick.

All-in-all, the conversation meant absolutely nothing to me. I don't understand the rationale. It always seems when things are going great---they can get weird quickly!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Simple things....

Mmmm...how is it a such a simple thing can have such a profound effect?

A simple smile.

A brief hello.

A polite thank you.

A question that begins with please.

A ear to listen.

A respectful sir or ma'am.

A well mannered man who opens the car door.

A giving child who shares a toy.

I can go on and name many, many simple things that mean so very much to many people. My question is why is it that kids are not taught these social 'do'? Don't get me wrong I know many people who do the majority of the above. I have been noticing that the younger generation does not. That makes me sad to realize that what is known as respect and common courtesy is not being passed on.

On the flipside I know many people that don't practice many of these themselves. I can understand to some extent that men don't open car doors for women because some women take that as a sign that they are not 'independent'. I have been guilty of this before and I have always regretted it. I think it is a grand gesture.

How many times I have seen kids throw themselves on the floor because another child has touched 'their' toy. The same toy that sat in the corner and was collecting dust. It melts my heart to see a child take a deep breathe and say "here, you can play with it.".

How many times do you smile at a stranger? Family? Friends? I noticed lately that I have been smiling much more and doing so makes me 'approachable'. I use this during clinicals and you can see a change in the patients when they feel as they have a friendly smile to go to when they are needing something.

Like I have said, I could go on and on, but I won't. I just was thinking how much of a difference you can make in a persons life but just putting such a small effort into doing the 'right' thing.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Time

Today, is a great day.

Today, I worked my last weekend.

After this week I will only be working on Fridays. With this new schedule change I will be able to focus more of my time on my kids and their activities and on school.

I can not believe that I have only 8 months left for this degree. Although, I have decided that I will be continuing on and completing a higher degree.

Where does the time go?

It seems that time goes much quicker the older that I have become. It seems like just a short while ago I took my daughter to her first day of kindergarten and now she is going to be a teenager this Decemeber. Wow, how that time seemed to speed on by. All of my kids are growing up quickly and starting to form their "own" lives. I couldn't be more proud of them.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The forgotten letter

One of my favorite things is something so small---it is a handwritten letter. Unfortunately with the technology today; e-mails, facebook, text messaging, it is becoming obsolete.

I still practice this ancient art of a handwritten letter and I do so every week. Something about the feeling I get of opening up a handwritten letter, just knowing that whomever wrote it for you choose every word for you. To know that someone put the effort into hand writing a letter--to me--is a grand gesture. I am glad I get to provide that feeling for someone else.

Don't get me wrong, I am guilty of sending a quick e-mail to ask someone how their week is going or even a text to make plans for supper. When it comes to the weekend I sit down with a pen in hand and write a handwritten letter. To be honest, I have never completely stopped writing letters as I always had an Aunt who lived out of state and that was our connection. Still to this day we write those letters and I have got my kids to join as well.

When my kids were gone for the summer, I wrote them each a letter or card weekly and received a few back from them. They cherished those letters and I would receive an excited phone call and a detailed letter of how their summer was. To read ones thoughts and descriptions helps the imagination and creative side grow. I hope that one day when my kids get grown and move off to start their life that they will not forget the art of a handwritten letter.

Not to mention how romantic a handwritten letter from the heart is. I wonder why people stopped with this---the forgotten letter.

When was the last time you have received a handwritten letter? How about the last time you have written one?

Friday, September 24, 2010

A tune...

Have you ever got a tune stuck in your head but couldn't figure out what it was? I did that the other day. I could not get it out of my head.

Dadada Dadada Dun dun dadada

I sang that for hours! I called my sister and was singing it to her which she recognized it but didn't know what it was or where she knew it from.

I ended up googling that "tune" and clicked on many, many links and many more web pages. I am not disclosing the amount of time I put into researching this tune but I will say I did find it!

Tom's Diner by Suzanne Vega. It was in a Nissan Maxima commercial. They also made a remix and was used as the theme song for I dream of Jeannie.

http://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?p=toms+diner+youtube

Stupid commerical did its job by making the tune stick with me.

Super Mario Brothers

As most people know about me, I enjoy video games. I grew up on NES and played and beat every Mario Brothers game made. I still play Nintendo. I still play Mario Brothers.

I have my kids playing Mario Brothers on the wii and on their DSi's. It's funny watching them. My youngest gets really into the motions when he plays. If Mario is jumping---he jumps! He prefers to play Super Mario on the wii, unlike Ian who likes to play Super Mario on the DSi.

Whenever they can't beat a level or a castle, they come ask me to play it for them. I play, sometimes I die, but I won't return the controller without conquering the level. Ian looks at me in all seriousness and asks "Mom, where did you get your mad Nintendo skills?". I smile and seriously respond "We come from a long generation of video gamers." He smiled and asked who. I got to explain that not only did Grandpa (my dad) play Nintendo so did Great-Grandpa (my grandpa).

It made me think of the original NES and my Grandpa Jack used to play Metroid. I remember him getting so angry at that game he ran it under water and drove his car over it. The funny thing is---it still worked.

Growing up in a video game family wasn't always easy. I remember that the TV sat next to the front door (as it still does today) and the couch across from it. This caused problems as if you wanted to leave the house----you had to wait till there was a "save" point, this was the same when you were coming into the house as well.

We had two NES systems, one for the kids and one designated only to my dad. We couldn't touch his or his games. I remember before he bought the second system taking masking tape and outlining the controllers so I could play and than place them precisely back in place. Eventually dad bought the second system, and there on out whenever a new system came out he bought two.

I am thankful for video games as it was because of them that built a relationship with my grandpa and I along with my dad and I. I know it was hard for them to find something to relate to me with and I am glad it was Nintendo.

Back to my kids, they act like THEY beat the levels, castles, and the game. Of course I bring them back to reality. Ian asked me yesterday "Mom, what am I going to be able to play after I beat Super Mario on the DSi?" I looked at him and said "I dunno, how about going back and beating the levels by yourself?" He smirked and didn't say another word.

I bring video games up as sometimes it is hard for me to find things to relate to with my kids. Tiana is getting older and well is much more of a girly-girl than I ever was. However, she and I relate with clothes, makeup, music, etc. The boys are big into building things, cars, video games, sports, etc. They see me as a "girl" invading their space. Having a connection with them where they see me as one of "them"---Priceless.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

October 1st, 2010

So, I can't make excuses, I need to lose some weight. I have gained weight since working an "office" job and frankly I can't stand it any longer.

As of October 1st, 2010, I am going to start working on a better, healthier me. I picked that day as I will only be working one day a week and will be able to work in a work out routine than. Hopefully next year I will look like a new me!

Wish me luck...Dun, Dun, Dun...

Monday, September 20, 2010

Ice Cream---how is made?

I have a friend who has a very imaginative 5 year old. This 5 year old asks SO many questions---constantly! Not a big deal to me as I usually try to have some sort of answer that is suffice for the kid.

The conversation:

Child: "Heather, Heather, Heather!"
Me: "Yes. What do you you need?"
Child: "Where does ice cream come from?"
Me: "Do you want to know how ice cream is made?"
Child: "NO! I want to know where it comes from!"
Me: "Well it comes from a factory, where it is made."
Child: "No, it don't."
Me: "Well, it does, it is made with milk or cream, sugar, flavoring, and air. They mix it together and while it is freezing, they have a machine that keeps stirring it to get the air mixed in. That is how ice cream is made."
Child: "Nope! It is made from cows that have colds. Duh!"

Hmm...I guess I was wrong...

Don't get me wrong as I love a child's imagination. When I was little I lived in Sioux City which has the Sgt. Floyd Monument. It resembles a huge 'pencil'. I remember telling my mom that I knew where clouds came from and when she asked me where I told her that the "big pencil drew them in the sky". When Dalton was little he thought the same thing--and he had no clue of the story of me when I was little.

The imagination is a wonderful thing!

Batter up....

As the weekend came to an end the kids wanted to go play a quick game of baseball. Which doesn't tend to last too long as there is only 4 of us. I am the "all-time pitcher" as the kids prefer to bat and well to be honest---less people get hit by a ball that way.

Except me.

I pitched. Ian smacked the ball. I got hit. It really hurt!

Now, I know that he didn't intentionally hit me. The ball hit right smack in the left portion of my chest. When I laugh, it hurts, when I think about it, I laugh. See the vicious circle?

Now, I have a bruise--- a relatively small bruise---but it is still a bruise!

The best part was when Dalton states "Great, just because mom can't catch, we aren't going to be able to play anymore!" Thanks Dalton for your compassion! Although, he was right, my "owie" stopped the game and possible this 'season'.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Birthday cake...

Yesterday was my dad's birthday and I didn't get to talk to him on the phone as he was working. I called him today and spent about a hour on the phone talking to him. He told me that he was lonely on his birthday.

He has been thinking about dating but that he didn't think that he could date because women 15 years younger than him have bills and he don't think he could love anyone enough to pay their bills. This stems from an earlier conversation in which he doesn't find overweight women attractive. I tell him to get over it as I am overweight and I have a great personality. I told him in his age he is going to have to accept some "flaws"--if you can call them that--or win the lottery because if he thinks he is going to date a 20 or 30 year old he best be ready to pay her bills.

Anyway, my dad was guilting me as the kids and I don't live nearby and he spent his birthday without a cake. So, to give an idea of what the sense of humor my family has this is what happened next.

I call my sister--who's birthday is today, the day after his--to tell her to bring HER a birthday cake to his house. I explained to her that he was feeling sorry for himself and trying to guilt me into feeling sorry for him too. It didn't work.

My sister went to Hy-Vee and asked them to write on the cake "Fuck your birthday, let's celebrate mine!". They did. She took the cake over to my dad's and he thought it was hilarious.

My kids have no chance of being "normal"---whatever that might be.

A compressed update...

It's been about three months since my last post and today I felt like getting on for a mini update. I have succumbed to my persuasive e-mails. Thanks everyone!

I have been collecting data for my trip to Ireland. Yup, I still plan on going. I will be waiting till the beginning of next year to purchase my ticket as I need to figure out when school is complete and when testing for my boards will take place. Regardless, I have a list of places that seem interesting to me, from scenic cliffs to historic cemeteries. I also picked up a pen pal from Ireland and he has been giving me some information on non-tourist spots that he considers to be a "must do".

I think I went completely crazy and started to tear apart my bathroom! I didn't know how much work it was, but I am happy to report 98% of it is complete. I still have to put the baseboard back down, which I am obviously in no hurry to do so. Everything was replaced besides the tub/shower---which I am partially regretting now.

Well, that do-it-yourself project overflowed into the hallway and living room in which I started and have not finished painting. It seems to me that Menards does not know how to mix paint (or at the very least they can not get the correct shade of yellow). So my living room and hallway will be a very eye-popping mustard color. Interesting to say the least.

I made a decision to put in my resignation at work---which my boss didn't accept---and begged me to remain on part time. So I will only be working on Fridays till I complete school---hopefully this upcoming May.

Well, there goes a mini update and with winter coming up I am sure they will be more frequently.