What is a mother to do?

This last week has tested my patience over and over…

First off I worked 50 hours and of course I am in school fulltime too. Now that is not what I am speaking about. My patience was tested beyond my normal obstacles.

On Tuesday I had to meet with a therapist for ‘mediation counseling’ with my second ex husband. At this time he was not there it was the initial appointment to explain what it is I am wanting. You see my ex husband hasn’t seen his kids in the last 5 visits he was scheduled, mind you these are alternating weekends. I have no problem with having my kids 365 days a year and that is an absolute promise. What my issue is that he doesn’t have the decency to call and say that he is not coming down. It puts me in a bind with daycare because I work on the weekends he is scheduled and not scheduled for that matter. But having to run around last minute to get that child care is stressful.

Now looking at it from another point of view through my kids’ eyes they miss their dad and are starting to get angry at him. My youngest confronted his dad over the phone and said “Dad I have the right to know are you coming down.” Saying this got him yelled at to the point of big crocodile tears streaming down his face. I took the phone away and stated to my ex husband that he will not talk to the kids that way and I hung up. Of course he called back and left me a great message, He hates me, I am worthless, I am a bitch, I am nothing, he is taking me back to court, and much ,much more. I can’t take these messages anymore. I moved across the state so I didn't have to.

Well with him not coming to see his kids and only talking to them twice since the last time he physically seen them has taken quite the toll on my kids. My middle son is acting out and my youngest is extra clingy. I started Ian into counseling this last Wednesday and she told me she is suspecting “ABUSE”! It just continues to echo inside my head.

This Monday I will be calling and getting an appointment for my youngest son to speak with a counselor by his request. Yup, my seven year old requested to speak to someone on the way that his dad talks to them.

Now this is very hard for me because I am trying to stay as neutral as possible. Meaning, I am not bad mouthing the kids’ dad to them. I figure they have enough anger to deal with of their own, they don’t need mine.

What is a mother to do…