Old pictures...

I was looking through some old pictures as I do now and again. Found one with all of the girl grandkids at one of the last big family get togethers that I have went to. The other is a picture of me when I was getting a divorce the first time back in 1999. What memories pictures bring back---mostly good---I think.

A profound effect...

This morning after my test I decided to run to Burger King for an egg and cheese biscuit. As I was pulling up to Burger King's parking lot so was a van; however, I had the right away but I waved to the woman driving the van to go ahead of me.

When I got the speaker I ordered my egg and cheese biscuit and waited in the short ling of customers waiting to get to the window to pay for their food. The woman in the van is in front of me and I noticed that she received her food and pulled out of the drive thru.

I pulled up to the pick up window to pay and get my food. The Burger King employee hands me my sack and said "It is taken care of" and wouldn't take my money. I must have had a very confused look on my face as the employee than states "The lady in front of you paid for your breakfast as she said you did something nice for her. She also asked me to tell you to have a great day."

Wow. By waving the van in front of me to the drive thru I impacted that woman positively. She noticed the "small" gesture and wanted me to know. In a world where faith in humanity is considered "lost"--I still believe.

A walk in the park...

Today, I enjoyed. The kids and I went for a walk through one of the parks here in town. The cool breeze, the blue sky, the changing of the trees. Fall is amongst us!

While out at the park I took some pictures of the kids. If I think of it later I will post some more.

I agreed to take some pictures for a friend, which they turned out amazing. My friend was thrilled with them---which makes me happy!

Note to self: I have to use this camera more often!

New addition

Ohh, I forgot a very important addition to the Tucker family...

Athlon Franklin Tucker born June 5th, 2010.

It was love at first sight with his big brown eyes. Although there have been many sleepless nights with Athlon, we all have adjusted well. Tiana, Ian, and Dalton have helped out so much with the added responsibilities.

I will post pictures soon...

Photography, just a hobby...

If you know me than you would know my favorite time of year is amongst us. I am truly excited for the cooler weather and for the changing of colors on the trees. Something about having the windows open and cuddling up on the couch with "fuzzy", my favorite blanket.

I am looking forward to the next few weeks as the leaves should be changing to the dramatic fall colors. When this occurs I will be out taking pictures of not only of the trees (which I love) but of my kids using the nature as the backdrop.

As most know, I love photography. I have a few people requesting me to take picture of their kids and a few family pictures outdoors. If only it paid better this would be the job for me. Unfortunately being a single mom prevents me to make the decision to only pursue photography.

As of now it will remain a hobby...

Quotes...

I love to read; however, I don't get as much time as I would enjoy to do so. In the winter I get more opportunities than the summer---so a good book will be in my future soon.

In the meantime I have taken a passion of reading quotes.

One of my favorites today:

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."-Buddha

Interpretation: Do not allow yourself to get hung up on things that have already happened, or worry about about things that may happen. Concentrate on what your are shooting for right now and everything else will
take care of itself.

Oh, how very true!

Counseling with the ex? I think not!

Grr...seriously how frustrating can an ex be?

I stopped communicating with my second ex-husband per his request a couple of months ago. It was working out so well for me. Anyway, today the silence was broke...

My phone goes off with a text message asking if I would talk to him. Well, I can't really say no beings he is the father of my kids so I said yes. Next, my phone rings. I answer not knowing what I am getting into with this conversation.

"Heather, I don't care if you get mad, hang up or whatever, I just don't care, but I am going to say this anyway....I think that you and I should go to counseling."

What?! I remained silent as I was unsure if I just heard him right. This same man who will talk over me just so he doesn't have to listen to a word I have to say wants to go to counseling??

I mumbled, "what?" He repeated himself. I said "Okay, I understand what you are saying but why are you saying this?" His quick reply "Because regardless of the good, bad, or ugly----you are my kids mom. That's it. But Heather you always blame me for everything." I waited and listened to his pity him sob story for about ten minutes and than I calmly stated "I don't blame you for anything. I speak the truth, provided by the facts".

This "blaming" he is talking about is the incidence that happened over the summer in which he let his girfriend bleach my daughters hair without a mention to me. When I found out I made the trip across the state to take her and get her hair back to "as normal as possible". In his eyes, it is my fault.

This conversation progressed into a further conversation to where I didn't want it to go---back to why we got divorced. Seriously, does it even matter? I mean we separated in 2005 and divorced in the later part of 2006. I am happy.

He went on to say he was miserable in our marriage and that I was happy. It amazes me the delusional thoughts going through this mans head. I responded "If you were unhappy and miserable, I am glad that we got divorced." Knowing exactly that I filed for divorce and that I moved across the state to start over I couldn't believe he believes that I was happy. I mean this guy was not a faithful husband and well he was not a very kind and loving man either. He did, and I am sure still does, have some great points about him, but the point being I obviously wasn't happy either.

I am not sure what sprung this conversation from him but it extended to "Heather, I haven't slept with another woman besides my girlfriend since two Octobers ago." Not knowing the point of all this and assuming that he felt some need to get this off his chest I endured a long conversation with a man whom I prefer to speak very minimally too. As I listened thoughts went through my head---he cheated on me with his girlfriend he has now---and that was in 2005 so I am happy that he hasn't cheated on her for the last two years out of five!

Not really knowing why I had to endure the conversation that I did or even why I allowed it. I understand it takes two to have a conversation, but I am also a person that has a heart and obviously he felt strongly enough to break the silence to let me know all of this. Sometimes I worry that he has some degree of mental illness, if not he is just completely sick.

All-in-all, the conversation meant absolutely nothing to me. I don't understand the rationale. It always seems when things are going great---they can get weird quickly!

Simple things....

Mmmm...how is it a such a simple thing can have such a profound effect?

A simple smile.

A brief hello.

A polite thank you.

A question that begins with please.

A ear to listen.

A respectful sir or ma'am.

A well mannered man who opens the car door.

A giving child who shares a toy.

I can go on and name many, many simple things that mean so very much to many people. My question is why is it that kids are not taught these social 'do'? Don't get me wrong I know many people who do the majority of the above. I have been noticing that the younger generation does not. That makes me sad to realize that what is known as respect and common courtesy is not being passed on.

On the flipside I know many people that don't practice many of these themselves. I can understand to some extent that men don't open car doors for women because some women take that as a sign that they are not 'independent'. I have been guilty of this before and I have always regretted it. I think it is a grand gesture.

How many times I have seen kids throw themselves on the floor because another child has touched 'their' toy. The same toy that sat in the corner and was collecting dust. It melts my heart to see a child take a deep breathe and say "here, you can play with it.".

How many times do you smile at a stranger? Family? Friends? I noticed lately that I have been smiling much more and doing so makes me 'approachable'. I use this during clinicals and you can see a change in the patients when they feel as they have a friendly smile to go to when they are needing something.

Like I have said, I could go on and on, but I won't. I just was thinking how much of a difference you can make in a persons life but just putting such a small effort into doing the 'right' thing.

Time

Today, is a great day.

Today, I worked my last weekend.

After this week I will only be working on Fridays. With this new schedule change I will be able to focus more of my time on my kids and their activities and on school.

I can not believe that I have only 8 months left for this degree. Although, I have decided that I will be continuing on and completing a higher degree.

Where does the time go?

It seems that time goes much quicker the older that I have become. It seems like just a short while ago I took my daughter to her first day of kindergarten and now she is going to be a teenager this Decemeber. Wow, how that time seemed to speed on by. All of my kids are growing up quickly and starting to form their "own" lives. I couldn't be more proud of them.

The forgotten letter

One of my favorite things is something so small---it is a handwritten letter. Unfortunately with the technology today; e-mails, facebook, text messaging, it is becoming obsolete.

I still practice this ancient art of a handwritten letter and I do so every week. Something about the feeling I get of opening up a handwritten letter, just knowing that whomever wrote it for you choose every word for you. To know that someone put the effort into hand writing a letter--to me--is a grand gesture. I am glad I get to provide that feeling for someone else.

Don't get me wrong, I am guilty of sending a quick e-mail to ask someone how their week is going or even a text to make plans for supper. When it comes to the weekend I sit down with a pen in hand and write a handwritten letter. To be honest, I have never completely stopped writing letters as I always had an Aunt who lived out of state and that was our connection. Still to this day we write those letters and I have got my kids to join as well.

When my kids were gone for the summer, I wrote them each a letter or card weekly and received a few back from them. They cherished those letters and I would receive an excited phone call and a detailed letter of how their summer was. To read ones thoughts and descriptions helps the imagination and creative side grow. I hope that one day when my kids get grown and move off to start their life that they will not forget the art of a handwritten letter.

Not to mention how romantic a handwritten letter from the heart is. I wonder why people stopped with this---the forgotten letter.

When was the last time you have received a handwritten letter? How about the last time you have written one?

A tune...

Have you ever got a tune stuck in your head but couldn't figure out what it was? I did that the other day. I could not get it out of my head.

Dadada Dadada Dun dun dadada

I sang that for hours! I called my sister and was singing it to her which she recognized it but didn't know what it was or where she knew it from.

I ended up googling that "tune" and clicked on many, many links and many more web pages. I am not disclosing the amount of time I put into researching this tune but I will say I did find it!

Tom's Diner by Suzanne Vega. It was in a Nissan Maxima commercial. They also made a remix and was used as the theme song for I dream of Jeannie.

http://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?p=toms+diner+youtube

Stupid commerical did its job by making the tune stick with me.

Super Mario Brothers

As most people know about me, I enjoy video games. I grew up on NES and played and beat every Mario Brothers game made. I still play Nintendo. I still play Mario Brothers.

I have my kids playing Mario Brothers on the wii and on their DSi's. It's funny watching them. My youngest gets really into the motions when he plays. If Mario is jumping---he jumps! He prefers to play Super Mario on the wii, unlike Ian who likes to play Super Mario on the DSi.

Whenever they can't beat a level or a castle, they come ask me to play it for them. I play, sometimes I die, but I won't return the controller without conquering the level. Ian looks at me in all seriousness and asks "Mom, where did you get your mad Nintendo skills?". I smile and seriously respond "We come from a long generation of video gamers." He smiled and asked who. I got to explain that not only did Grandpa (my dad) play Nintendo so did Great-Grandpa (my grandpa).

It made me think of the original NES and my Grandpa Jack used to play Metroid. I remember him getting so angry at that game he ran it under water and drove his car over it. The funny thing is---it still worked.

Growing up in a video game family wasn't always easy. I remember that the TV sat next to the front door (as it still does today) and the couch across from it. This caused problems as if you wanted to leave the house----you had to wait till there was a "save" point, this was the same when you were coming into the house as well.

We had two NES systems, one for the kids and one designated only to my dad. We couldn't touch his or his games. I remember before he bought the second system taking masking tape and outlining the controllers so I could play and than place them precisely back in place. Eventually dad bought the second system, and there on out whenever a new system came out he bought two.

I am thankful for video games as it was because of them that built a relationship with my grandpa and I along with my dad and I. I know it was hard for them to find something to relate to me with and I am glad it was Nintendo.

Back to my kids, they act like THEY beat the levels, castles, and the game. Of course I bring them back to reality. Ian asked me yesterday "Mom, what am I going to be able to play after I beat Super Mario on the DSi?" I looked at him and said "I dunno, how about going back and beating the levels by yourself?" He smirked and didn't say another word.

I bring video games up as sometimes it is hard for me to find things to relate to with my kids. Tiana is getting older and well is much more of a girly-girl than I ever was. However, she and I relate with clothes, makeup, music, etc. The boys are big into building things, cars, video games, sports, etc. They see me as a "girl" invading their space. Having a connection with them where they see me as one of "them"---Priceless.

October 1st, 2010

So, I can't make excuses, I need to lose some weight. I have gained weight since working an "office" job and frankly I can't stand it any longer.

As of October 1st, 2010, I am going to start working on a better, healthier me. I picked that day as I will only be working one day a week and will be able to work in a work out routine than. Hopefully next year I will look like a new me!

Wish me luck...Dun, Dun, Dun...

Ice Cream---how is made?

I have a friend who has a very imaginative 5 year old. This 5 year old asks SO many questions---constantly! Not a big deal to me as I usually try to have some sort of answer that is suffice for the kid.

The conversation:

Child: "Heather, Heather, Heather!"
Me: "Yes. What do you you need?"
Child: "Where does ice cream come from?"
Me: "Do you want to know how ice cream is made?"
Child: "NO! I want to know where it comes from!"
Me: "Well it comes from a factory, where it is made."
Child: "No, it don't."
Me: "Well, it does, it is made with milk or cream, sugar, flavoring, and air. They mix it together and while it is freezing, they have a machine that keeps stirring it to get the air mixed in. That is how ice cream is made."
Child: "Nope! It is made from cows that have colds. Duh!"

Hmm...I guess I was wrong...

Don't get me wrong as I love a child's imagination. When I was little I lived in Sioux City which has the Sgt. Floyd Monument. It resembles a huge 'pencil'. I remember telling my mom that I knew where clouds came from and when she asked me where I told her that the "big pencil drew them in the sky". When Dalton was little he thought the same thing--and he had no clue of the story of me when I was little.

The imagination is a wonderful thing!

Batter up....

As the weekend came to an end the kids wanted to go play a quick game of baseball. Which doesn't tend to last too long as there is only 4 of us. I am the "all-time pitcher" as the kids prefer to bat and well to be honest---less people get hit by a ball that way.

Except me.

I pitched. Ian smacked the ball. I got hit. It really hurt!

Now, I know that he didn't intentionally hit me. The ball hit right smack in the left portion of my chest. When I laugh, it hurts, when I think about it, I laugh. See the vicious circle?

Now, I have a bruise--- a relatively small bruise---but it is still a bruise!

The best part was when Dalton states "Great, just because mom can't catch, we aren't going to be able to play anymore!" Thanks Dalton for your compassion! Although, he was right, my "owie" stopped the game and possible this 'season'.

Birthday cake...

Yesterday was my dad's birthday and I didn't get to talk to him on the phone as he was working. I called him today and spent about a hour on the phone talking to him. He told me that he was lonely on his birthday.

He has been thinking about dating but that he didn't think that he could date because women 15 years younger than him have bills and he don't think he could love anyone enough to pay their bills. This stems from an earlier conversation in which he doesn't find overweight women attractive. I tell him to get over it as I am overweight and I have a great personality. I told him in his age he is going to have to accept some "flaws"--if you can call them that--or win the lottery because if he thinks he is going to date a 20 or 30 year old he best be ready to pay her bills.

Anyway, my dad was guilting me as the kids and I don't live nearby and he spent his birthday without a cake. So, to give an idea of what the sense of humor my family has this is what happened next.

I call my sister--who's birthday is today, the day after his--to tell her to bring HER a birthday cake to his house. I explained to her that he was feeling sorry for himself and trying to guilt me into feeling sorry for him too. It didn't work.

My sister went to Hy-Vee and asked them to write on the cake "Fuck your birthday, let's celebrate mine!". They did. She took the cake over to my dad's and he thought it was hilarious.

My kids have no chance of being "normal"---whatever that might be.

A compressed update...

It's been about three months since my last post and today I felt like getting on for a mini update. I have succumbed to my persuasive e-mails. Thanks everyone!

I have been collecting data for my trip to Ireland. Yup, I still plan on going. I will be waiting till the beginning of next year to purchase my ticket as I need to figure out when school is complete and when testing for my boards will take place. Regardless, I have a list of places that seem interesting to me, from scenic cliffs to historic cemeteries. I also picked up a pen pal from Ireland and he has been giving me some information on non-tourist spots that he considers to be a "must do".

I think I went completely crazy and started to tear apart my bathroom! I didn't know how much work it was, but I am happy to report 98% of it is complete. I still have to put the baseboard back down, which I am obviously in no hurry to do so. Everything was replaced besides the tub/shower---which I am partially regretting now.

Well, that do-it-yourself project overflowed into the hallway and living room in which I started and have not finished painting. It seems to me that Menards does not know how to mix paint (or at the very least they can not get the correct shade of yellow). So my living room and hallway will be a very eye-popping mustard color. Interesting to say the least.

I made a decision to put in my resignation at work---which my boss didn't accept---and begged me to remain on part time. So I will only be working on Fridays till I complete school---hopefully this upcoming May.

Well, there goes a mini update and with winter coming up I am sure they will be more frequently.

Take the chance...

Sometimes you have a person that enters your life and instantly you know that there is something so amazing about them. They make you smile with a good morning text or a dream better text at night. This amazing individual you can talk to about anything for hours. They are smart and show through conversations. They are funny and can get you to laugh. They listen as they know how important that is. There kiss is sweet and leaves you wanting more.

My point is if you find someone that makes you constantly think of them---make sure to take the opportunity as you never know if you shall get another chance.

"To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed."

See you on the flipside...

I want to forewarn that I might not be blogging for awhile. I have some changes in life.

I don't know how long this will be and I am not sure when I will be back to blog. Who knows I may sneak on now and again.

See you on the flipside...

Keep smiling, Keep going

I came to a harsh realization that people are not what they portray themselves---even the good ones---me included.

It amazes me sometimes when you think you know someone so well and than---WHAM---you are blindsided with the unexpected.

It saddens me to know how very little you mean to someone that you considered to be big part of your life. I guess this is what life is about. The unexpected.

Communication is such a big part of human relationships of all kinds. Known fact. However, communication cannot be one-sided. If one is unwilling or lacks the ability than the essence/magic is lost.

I feel as if I am losing the dreamer in me.

No worries, I am okay, as I am me. I like me. I am happy with me.

I forgive easily, so there is no hard feelings.

One thing I've learned---keep smiling, keep going.

Ireland

Just priced a trip to Ireland!

Next step, to try and get vacation approved from boss lady.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Love is fickle...

A very smart 12 year old asked me the difference of love and unconditional love.

To break it down in simple forms I explained that unconditional love is the love that I have for my kids. I love them with no strings attached. They don't have to do anything to earn my love as it will always be there.

Love is something that a person feels towards someone after getting to know them and liking either the conversation, time spent, or a variety of other things. This type of love there was a cause and effect; for example, they needed to have those conversations to fall in love, if the conversations go away, chances are the love with fade.

Later on I began to think in more in depth of what unconditional love and love is.

A lot of people put conditions on love. They love only when it meets in there criteria/conditions and don't love when the conditions/criteria are not met. They can turn from love to hate instantly as something falls out of those conditions/criteria. Not to mention someones conditions/criteria may change so if the one receiving the love does not change along with these criteria/conditions they are deemed unworthy of continuing to receive their love.

The one thing I believe is love is fickle.

My personality...

You are interested in the big picture. You like to examine large, ambiguous issues and ideas. You carefully weigh all of the variables involved, connect disparate facts in novel ways and regularly come up with imaginative solutions to complex problems. You see holistically and can be visionary.

You are friendly and humane. You have a big heart; you tend to trust people and sympathize with them easily. You intuitively know what they are thinking and feeling. And because you are agreeable and mentally flexible, you go out of your way to make others comfortable and happy. You seek to make intimate, meaningful friendships.

Your empathy and altruism spill over into a desire to make the world a better place. And with your resilience and imagination, your ability to do many things at the same time, your people skills and your command of language, you can be remarkably effective at improving the lives of others.

You are also traditional. You have clear moral values and tend to stick to your point of view. Yet you almost always seek consensus and harmony, and are willing to give up some of your pleasures to build an orderly, harmonious home and family life.

Relating to others:
You tend to be well-adjusted, trusting, compassionate, intuitive and interested in people. And you work to keep your networks intact. You also look in as well as out; you are introspective. And you like probing the meanings of life. So you avoid casual chit-chat. You can be so agreeable that some people may overlook your complex personality.

In relationship:
You are a die-hard romantic, and you must have depth and meaning in your relationships. You like heart-to-heart exchanges that explore personal philosophies, goals, ethical dilemmas, and the meanings behind art, music, poetry or some other abstract topic. You are emotionally expressive and want your partner to share his or her genuine self with you. You also admire people who make plans and schedules. And you are attracted to a mate with a fixed moral compass. Moreover, for you, love must be embedded in a stable long-term relationship beginning with a march down the aisle. Most important, to balance your imaginative and supple spirit, you gravitate to people who know their own mind, make decisions quickly, focus on one thing at a time and can provide a stable home. And you can be very sensitive to your mate, communicating your emotions clearly and tenderly.

The daily stuff...

I was daydreaming...

I would love to have someone to talk to on the sleepless night. Someone in which I can talk about the day, the dreams, the wants, the needs, and everything in between.

I'll share one here:

Been looking at pictures of Niagara Falls and it truly amazes me. I can close my eyes and here the sound of the water. Hopefully this summer I will be making my way out there. Got my fingers crossed.

Advice from a man...

As I was talking to a male friend tonight as I do from time to time for some "man" advice. I was told this:

When a guy yells at you, Heather, remember there is a guy who would love to whisper softly to you.

When a guy makes you cry, Heather, there will be a guy who would love to steal your smiles.

Heather, When a guy humiliates you or insults you, there will be a guy who will love to remind you how wonderful you are.

Most of all Heather, when a guy hurts you, remember there is a guy wishing you to be his, wishing to make love to you, to be there for you.

What a good reminder, I said. Point me to this guy, I said.

My nightmare repeating itself...

Today I was at work in my own world---working away--I didn't talk and I didn't listen--just worked.

I was told today "Heather, I can not work this way. With you not talking. I can not take it." I didn't feel like talking, sharing, or even listening. I just wanted the day to pass as it was "my friday".

Midway through the day my phone goes off. It seems as my first ex-husband located me via Facebook--lucky me. This man has not been a part of my daughters life since shortly after our divorce. Tiana was 1.

His message was short "Let me know how my daughter is."

This brings shivers down my spine.

What do I say to him "She calls another man dad. How are you?"

Don't get me wrong, Tiana knows that who she calls Dad is not her blood Dad, but he is her real Dad. Tiana does not want anything to do with her blood father. We have talked and she has a good head on her shoulders. I don't blame her.

I am thinking that it is time to involve a lawyer to get rights terminated. It shouldn't be that big of a deal; he pays no child support, he hasn't participated in her life since she was 1, and he has done wrong in his life. I am not saying that people can not change---but when it comes to my kids---you better be proving it way before you get the benefit of the doubt.

Tonight is one of those nights where I want my kids close.

The idea...

As I was working today I started to think about does a person want to be with someone or with their idea of that someone?

This is an easy question for me. I will always choose the real person. This includes the good, the bad and the ugly---the whole sha-bang. Many people have a picture or an idea of a person and that can most often lead them to disappointment. I'll always pick truth over fantasy--any and everyday.

I have met way too many people that act on the idea of a person and not the actual person. How sad in my point of view.

I came to realize that some people are just extremely shallow..

Conclusion

I was told by a very wise person that:

"A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking."

I think you are right.

A Monday Surprise....

I had a pretty rough Mother's Day. I hate to admit this but I spent the majority of the day in tears. I missed my mom and I just felt alone.

Don't get me wrong, my kids were absolutely amazing to me and they made the day fantastic!

I took a long hot bath and a friend called to listen to me cry---bet they wish they wouldn't have afterwards.

Anyway, monday at work this is what I received:



Thank you, it made my day, it was not needed, but a very nice surprise. The people that are in my life are the best---great friends.

A sweet card attached stating "Today will be better--you deserve it!"

Dinner and, um, entertainment....

Yesterday at work I asked a co-worker if they would like to get supper. We always go and eat at the local Mexican restaurant---they have the best queso dip.

Anyway, after they said yes, I text a couple of other friends to see if they wanted to meet us for supper and of course they said agreed too. I went home and was teasing my kids on how I am going out to eat and they are staying home. The pouted, gave me puppy dog eyes, and well they gave me the works---all the dirty guilty tricks they could think of.

I had no intentions of not bringing me kids---I just like to give them a hard time now and again.

So, at the restaurant, I order my normal vegetarian number 4 and a margarita. We all sat around and talked and laughed. It was a great night.

Nothing out of the ordinary---yet!

As we were paying and getting ready to leave a fight breaks out. One man had broke a beer bottle over another ones head and the fists were flying. Blood was scattered all over the area. I asked one of the friends to take my kids outside while I paid.

Of course the man that ran the cash registered was trying to break up the fight---I had front seats to an absolute ridiculous show.

The fight broke out over a female. How silly. The young female started saying to the one man "What are you looking at?" and well her "over jealous" boyfriend broke the beer bottle over the head of the older guy that was enjoying his meal with his wife. This is where it got a bit out of control, as he was knocked down the young woman was standing on his neck while her boyfriend was punching away.

The fight eventually got broken up---but restarted at least 6 times. Why they didn't separate them into different rooms when they were actually separated--I have no idea.

The police show up but the one man who started the fight was taken somewhere by the waiter who mysteriously could not have been found.

I finally state to one of the waiters now that everything is calm can I please pay so I can leave.

Much more than what I bargained for. I dislike fighting---it makes me extremely nervous.

My horoscope for today...

My horoscope for today:

You're pretty happy with what you've got -- except that you want more! It's a weird time to be close to you, as you might be needier than usual, but not quite able to tell people what you need.

Yup, that sounds EXACTLY like me! Every once in awhile they hit the nail on the head.

Yellow-Green Aura

Hmmm...I was told yesterday that I have a yellow-green aura. What does this even mean?

Well, as most know, I love research and so this is what I came up with:

Yellow-Green

This aura color means that the person is a very good communicator and knows how to manage money. If this is your aura color you are persistent in everything you do, enjoy your life and are optimistic about the future. You are proactive and always look at the bright side of life.

You are creative and you can express your feelings perfectly into words.

People who have such aura are also perceived to be powerful and sometimes intimidating.

Me, intimidating? Puh-leeze! However, I do believe that I am a great communicator. I also enjoy life, I am optimistic, and I try hard to see the bright side of any situation in life. I do like to put my feelings into words too.

Hmm... Do aura colors change or are you born with one and it stays the same your entire life? Guess I am going to have to find out.

http://www.personal-development-coach.net/aura-colors.html

Off again, on again, the life of my friends...

:::Sigh:::

What is going on lately?

Friends are fighting. Friends are not talking. Friends are talking about leaving their significant other.

It makes me so sad when two people have a connection and they lose that.

I feel as if I don't have the perfect words to say. So I don't say anything. I listen. I have heard so much lately and it hurts my heart to realize that over something so minute two people decide to call it quits.

:::Sigh:::

It bothers me how quick people are to throw in the towel when things are rough and tough. From the outside looking in; it doesn't look so bad to have someone to come home to, someone to give that kiss to when you pass in the hallway, someone that knows your little quirks and choices you anyway. Sounds pretty good to me.

Now don't get me wrong I do know that there are situations that happen and a relationship should end; however, (no offense) this is not one of them.

I have to stop myself some times and remember that you can love someone so much and just sometimes being in love with that someone isn't anything like you thought it was. I do understand that this sounds contradictory, but even when one person loves another, if that love isn't returned, it really is nothing.

Love, to be that beautiful union that everyone secretly and not so secretly hopes for, needs both to want to love each other. Like I will say many times over and over, love is a lot of work, but at the end of the day when it's just the two of you laying there in bed---isn't it just worth it?

Does size really matter...

Today I got measured for my correct bra size.

I read online quite often and I am always reading that 80% of women wear the incorrect bra size. Unfortunately, I knew I was in this range of people. I tend to try to minimize my breast some.

Anyway, I went and got measured and purchased all new bras (and matching panties) today---in the correct size.

I am excited to see if anyone notices the difference.

Advice

I was talking to one of my only single friends last night. He has been dating a few women in the last couple of months and came to ask me a few questions on the dating world.

I find this humorous---I am the last person to come to for dating advice. Seriously.

As he was spilling his dating history, I listened. I mean I really listened. I related so very much to what he was saying. I found myself being empathetic and than saying to myself I know exactly what you mean.

As the conversation progressed I got the dreaded "Do you have any advice?"

Again, like I have said and will continue to say, I am the very last person to come to for dating advice. I knew I had to say something--anything.

Beings I could relate to what he was telling me means that whatever advice or opinion I give, I better be able to accept myself. Scary.

Guess sometimes you have to take your own advice...

Change, change, and possibly some more change...

Today I enjoyed a great afternoon with a friend. We had an amazing lunch at the Cheesecake Factory and than went shopping.

We laughed, talked, and just enjoyed the day. It was great.

As the afternoon went on I started to think about things that have been bothering me. After realizing that being bothered by these 'things' is not changing anything but me.

I don't want to change me. I like me. I am me. I love being a mom. I say please and thank you. I count ceiling tiles. I love to do research. I play video games. I laugh at cartoons. I value friendships. I desire love. I believe honesty is a must. I am extremely shy at first than let my crazy side be shown. I sleep with the TV on. I listen to my friends. What I am getting at is I have these traits because I want them. I like them. I like me.

So what do you do when there is something in your life that you don't like?

You change it.

It clicked to me today. If you change nothing, than nothing changes.

So with the things in life that bothers me or not giving me the result that I want. I need to change otherwise it will remain the same.

I can say confidently that there will be changes...

Erase Someone

Have you ever wanted to forget someone?

I mean maybe it was someone you had feelings for and it just didn't work out or maybe you felt it was best for the other person or for what ever reason.

How do you erase someone from your thoughts? Do you consume yourself with life? Do you use the "out of sight, out of mind"?

My question really is...does it work? Would you really want it to work?

I do believe it works; however, you can erase someone from your mind, but you can't erase them from your heart.

Your heart can speak in ways that your mind can not understand.

Why do we fear what the heart is saying? Do we even listen?

My next question is what if you tried to erase someone from memory and you ruined something that could have been wonderful?

Isn't that what most of us are looking for? What most of us are wanting? Something wonderful. I think at times we push the things we want away. What I haven't figured out is why.

Any thoughts?

It's been 20 years...

Yesterday I went shopping---not any shopping---bike shopping.

I talked with a co-worker who referred me to the bike shop (mind you it is the only bike shop in town).

Regardless, I am an easy sale. When my mind is set on something I want I usually get it (as long as I can afford to do so).

Anyway, I walk into an old building which kinda smelled on the inside---not quite sure what it smelled of, but there was a distinguished scent. The gentleman quickly asked me what I was looking for and I explained "a bike". He asked me if I had a particular kind in mind and to be honest I had not a clue. I have researched bikes this week and learned about the different types, styles, and modifications, etc.

This gentleman must of seen that I had absolutely no clue. He pulled down a bike and started to explain features, types, styles, and the many other things. He showed me how the gears worked and how to disconnect the brake if needed to take the tire off, he explained different tire sizes and conveniences that are on the bike.

To be honest---I was overwhelmed. I just wanted a bike.

I smiled and listened attentively. I nodded and repeated information back. I asked questions and explained to this gentleman that I haven't been on a bike in 20 years. I asked him--halfway jokingly--if he could put training wheels on. He shot me a look and in which I immediately wanted to take back my comment. He said no.

After about 2 hours listening about differences in bikes I politely interrupted and said "I was sold before I walked into the door---I just don't know what to buy". The gentleman looked at me and said "I don't want you to buy a bike that you are not going to be happy with. Yes, it's great that you want to buy a bike, but I want you to have one you will enjoy'. I smiled and I understood.

After a bit longer I purchased a bike. My first bike since 5th grade. I had no clue on if I could even ride a bike anymore. I explained that I would be back the next day to pick up my new bike.

Today when I got off work I called a friend who owns a truck and asked them to pick me up so we could go and pick up my bike. I have to admit I was really excited. We got to the bike shop and the gentleman brought me out my bike. I noticed that there was things on it that was not on it the day before. He must of seen the obvious confusion on my face as he explained that he added things because he is worried. Even more confused at this point I managed to say it was not necessary and thank you. I mailed the bike shop a thank you card today for thier level of service, knowledge, the additives they deemed necessary, and thier friendliness.

Back to the story--I got home changed out of my work clothes and gathered my kids to go on our first bike ride. The kids were excited and we had a lot of fun. In fact the kids pooped out before I did.

I remembered how to ride a bike--I didn't fall. I did notice that I take some wide turns though. As of now I have a friend that I will go on a bike ride every Tuesday and Thursday and one weekend day--either Saturday or Sunday---whichever it might be.

Needless to say, I am really excited.

1920's

As the day ended at Adventure Land we decided to get an "antique" picture taken. Dalton really wanted to get a picture holding a "Tommy 20" (shown in the family picture) so we ended up posing in the 1920's era. One of my favorites also.

The kids had a great time posing and we have some great memories that happened to be caught on camera.

This picture gave me an idea...

The remote control

What is it with never being able to find the remote? More so when it is MY turn to watch TV?

I am starting to believe that my kids hide the remotes from me. I don't watch a lot of TV but every now and again I like to flip between the channels. Coincidence that the remote "disappears" when I am wanting to watch TV? I think not.

Don't get me wrong, it is not that big of a deal. I am sure that there is much worse that has happened to me and there will be worse that will happen. I just find it humerous that everytime that I want to watch something I have to tear the livingroom apart to be able to sit down and flip through the channels to realize that there is nothing on TV.

Of course I have confronted my kids on "losing" the remotes and they all act like that they have no cue what I am talking about.

How funny.

Past meet my present

What do you do when your past tries to meet your present?

That is what happened for me today.

I woke up this morning with my phone saying I had a friend request on Facebook. I use my phone to access the request while I am still nice and warm under my covers. And there it is---the name of the person wanting to be my friend.

I was actually excited. I seen my dad's name. I click on his profile laughing that my dad even figured out how to make a Facebook account and imagining in my head what in the world would he be doing on Facebook.

I was wrong. It was not my dad. It was my brother.

I haven't spoken to my brother since my mom had her stroke in December 2001. That is a really long time. Dalton was only 4 months old, Ian was 2, and Tiana was 4. That's a lifetime ago.

I tossed the idea around in my head on accepting or not accepting the friend request. Maybe it is time to make "peace". I accepted his request.

My day got stranger. I got another blast from my past but this time it was an e-mail. This is more of a "recent" past---if that makes sense. A very simple e-mail stating "Hi. How have you been?" I have absolutely no intention of responding.

If you know me than you know I save everything that is ever sent to me in the form of an e-mail. Everyone that I have ever talked to via e-mail has their very own folder. Call me strange, weird, psycho---it don't matter to me.

Today I didn't add that e-mail to that folder.

Such a simple thing to most, but to me it was more. Not because I deleted the mean-nothing-to-me e-mail but because I changed my normal. I changed my routine.

And who says old dogs can't learn new tricks?

Menards

Dalton asked me if we can plant a tree. I thought why not? I researched trees and narrowed down the types that I am interested in.

The White Dogwood is by far my favorite.

The Tulip Tree is a close second.

The Red Bud ranks up there too.

So a friend and my boys went to Menards to see what kind of trees that they have. None of the ones I am looking for. I have decided I might have to order one to be delivered. Which is fine. At least than I will have one that I want.

I love Menards. I can browse through there for hours. I can look at anything from sinks to fences and everything in between. I picked out a few things that I wanted but as I have been thinking that I think it is about time to relocate.

Anyway, as we walked around the store Dalton started asking me questions---random questions. He asked me why I don't have a boyfriend. My friend laughed hysterically. I tried to tell Dalton that it was not the time or the place to have that discussion. He didn't accept that and my friend said "Dalton maybe you should find your mom one."

Dalton took this literally. I have never been so embarassed in my life. Seriously. Dalton is not a shy person. I am going shopping alone for awhile.

Regardless, we left Menards without a tree---well without anything.

Imagination

Tiana is babysitting this weekend and all the kids love having the baby around. I love watching them become "soft" around a baby.

Dalton decided this morning that we needed to watch Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. I didn't find anything unusual with this as we are a family who enjoys cartoons but I than heard him tell the baby "I picked this cartoon because it will help you have a great imagination when you get older. An imagination is important."

I laughed.

Reading for fun

So this morning I caught Dalton reading without me asking him too! I had to capture this as usually I have to get on him on reading. Now maybe it was the book that had the "3D popouts" that caught his eye. I understand this; however, he was reading the words off the page.

I was excited.

He was excited about what he was reading as he called Tiana over to listen on how many rows of teeth the shark has. Dalton loves sharks. He wrote a book last year all about Sharks. It was made into a hard cover book and I keep it with the hard cover book that Tiana and Ian made for me.

Anyway, Dalton was very into this book. He was telling me all about the bones and about how the size of the animal compared to humans.

The first piture he was not happy with me as I was joking with him and said "I think you are making this stuff up---you aren't reading."

Cursive

Tiana was practicing cursive with Dalton in the kitchen and this is what they came out with. Although his "M" has one too many "humps" I still loved it! I can't judge any ones penmanship as I write very illegible.

My kids are always getting me to smile!

**Wish I would have used my camera to take the pictures and not my cell phone. My new phone takes awful pictures--it doesn't even have flash! I couldn't believe it. I was debating on taking it back just for that fact.**

Patient satisfaction survey

I did what I do every Friday morning at work. I log in to the computer, grab my water from the refrigerator, grab the mail from my mailbox, and listen to my voice mails. It is routine and if you know me than you know I do most things in a routine.

As I was going through my mail I came across a voucher. On the voucher it read "You have went above and beyond. You were mentioned on a patient satisfaction survey. Thank you Heather." I won't lie it made me smile. I guess I am not sure what the voucher is for, I am assuming I can take it to HR and they give what the community calls "commerce bucks" and it can be used at 50 or so different businesses. I think I am going to keep the voucher as I like little 'reminders' as such.

Now this puts in perspective why my boss put me on the spot in the clerical meeting we had on Thursday. We had a little discussion on how to treat others internal and external customers. I was asked to explain how I conduct my phone etiquette. Not knowing why I was asked I just explained how I answer the phone and how I follow through with what I said I was going to do. I thought that was normally what others do. (At the hospital we use AIDET, which is Acknowledge, Introduce, Duration, Explain, and Thank.)

The meeting continued on about how there has been complaints internally and externally about how people are being treated over the phone. We were told we need to ask everyone what can I do for you and than do it regardless of how busy or how we do not think it is part of our job.

Not sure exactly how I feel about that.

Yes, I am all for going over and beyond my job duties. Yes, I am all willing to help out a co-worker. I am not liking the idea of asking my co-workers everytime I talk to them if there is something I can do for them---cause guess what---they will have things each and every time.

Regardless I did appreciate getting mentioned on a patient satisfaction survey. Curiousity has wanting me to know who it was but they are annoymous. I will find out next department meeting what was said about me.

Sticky notes---galore!

I arrive to work this morning and there are multiple different sticky notes on my monitor. I find this funny--very funny.

Normally I am the first to leave work as I am the first to arrive. So, usually when I come in to the office I notice something is missing off my desk. My pens, my rubber band ball, my sticky notes, my tuna creations, my scissors, my stapler, etc.

I have made the comment apparently one too many times--"if you want something of mine that is fine; however, please just leave me a note so I know". This way I won't wonder all day if I misplaced it or even better yet decide who (in my head) took the items.

Well, back to this morning and the sticky notes plastered on my monitor. I had multiple sticky's which stated "I took your yellow stickys---coworkers name", "I ate your almonds", "I took your pen--I like how it writes", "Heather, I will be late tomorrow", "Thanks!, etc".

Funny, my co-workers are funny.

At least I know my stuff was taken.

Great surprise!

Today I was at work minding my own business. I was actually completing the paperwork for the discrepancies on the time studies (time cards for employees)that I have found. I have to compare travel time to mileage to make sure people are not stating it takes 50 minutes to drive 3 miles. I have to look and make sure that they are honest on how many miles from client A to client B. I also look to make sure that they are not asking to get paid for things like driving to the office at the start of the day or to lunch, etc. Well that is the basics but there are some more.

Anyway, that is what I was doing when someone walked in and handed me a gift bag that had a card, a book, and a lottery ticket! What a fantastic Tuesday surprise! The things that mean the most to me are the thought behind something. To bring me a gift for no reason means much more than one which (I hate to say it this way) "expected". Let me explain. I don't ever expect a gift, but I am meaning a time like a birthday, holiday, etc. Does that make sense?

Regardless the card is sitting on my desk and tonight I am going to start reading the book. The lottery ticket was not a winner--but it was still fun.

This unexpected, amazing surprise made me appreciate all the people in my life. I have great friends and great family.

Lotus Touts

I received this e-mail a total of 18 times in the last week. I enjoyed it every time.

Lotus Touts

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as Important as any other.

THREE. Don`t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I`m sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone`s dreams. People who don`t have dreams don`t have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it`s the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don`t judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don`t want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don`t lose the lesson

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R`s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don`t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you`ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Remember this: A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Guilty and happy all rolled into one..

I feel guilty. Not because I have done anything wrong, but for how I feel.

This weekend a few friends and I went up to Cedar Rapids to visit another friend. During this trip we celebrated the April birthdays.

We started off with getting ready in our "black dresses" and the guys actually dressed up too. We went out to eat and made it to the Extreme Midget wrestling show. I am telling you the wrestling ring was tiny. It was at least half the size of a normal ring if not more.

I ended up getting an autographed picture from one of the midgets 'Bad Boy Brian". During the show the wrestlers would yell out to the crowd and get all the drunkards to yell back. Started off with "the women in Iowa are flat chested and if we didn't agree to prove it." The crowd was booing and cheering on their favorite wrestler and the wrestlers were definitely playing the crowd.

My best friend and I decided to be a couple that night as we walked around holding hands, laughing, buying each others drinks, and possibly a kiss here and there to show that we were "together". (We have been best friends since I was 13. Her boyfriend didn't come out with her and well I was available so we made the best of it.)

After the Extreme Midget Wrestling we went to a few bars. We sang karaoke, laughed, danced, and really had a very good time.

This is when I started to think. This is where I start feeling guilty.

I just realized I am the only single person in my group of friends. I was slightly jealous. I dislike jealousy in all forms so I am angry at myself for feeling this way. Don't get me wrong I am so very happy for all my friends--truly I am.

The friend we visited up in Cedar Rapids just met a great guy who is very supportive of her starting her photography business. They just met in December and are talking of getting married. This is my second friend who has met someone and quickly got married this year alone.

I listened to all the stories from my friends of how 'they' (meaning my friend and their partner) are going to do this, or how 'they' were surprised with that, or how 'they' met, or how 'they' fell in love, or what funny quirk 'they' have.

I never felt so alone or so excluded in a very long time.

All in all this weekend was a blast. I wouldn't change a thing. In fact I even tried a new food--sushi. I think I can go forever without ever having sushi. I can't believe people actually like this. I thought shrimp was the only food that grossed me out---I was sadly mistaken.

New favorite

I found a new favorite---spinach and mandrian orange salad with a poppy seed dressing. I had this for the first time last weekend in Des Moines (but with strawberries) and have been wanting it. Happy to say, I enjoyed it for lunch (without strawberries). Yummy!

Irritating, confusion, and dizziness...

This morning started with a mandatory meeting at the Bridgeview Center. Nothing of importance was mentioned. The hospital still doesn't know the new benefit package we will be receiving with the new company that purchased us. I can say this is slightly irritating as the sale was supposed to be completed March 31st and now is expected April 30th. Regardless we were told that in the next week or two we should know our new benefits.

After the meeting I went to work and you could feel the tension in the air from co-workers. It was one of those days that I was afraid to speak as someone was going to fly off the handle---and they did. Everyone at work is stressed out with the sell of the hospital as it means we have to discharge and readmit all of our clients. Which means long hours and lots of paperwork.

On a totally different note I receive a text from my bank that I had a deposit into my account. Confused as I wasn't expecting a deposit and more so over the amount. I logged into the online banking to see a child support payment of $26.73 was deposited in my account. I log on to child support recovery to see what is going on and I discovered that my first ex husband made his first child support payment. I thought that was a very unusual amount, but oh well.

Today is one of those days that I want to spin in circles till I become dizzy and than fall back in a bed of grass and laugh. Yup, that is what I am going to do after supper.

Moments...

Today at lunch I decided to do a couple of errands. Life has been chaotic and so I thought I could spend more time with my kids before class if I did my errands over lunch.

While out driving I noticed a small field of grass. As I stopped at the stop light I seen the wind moving through each blade of grass in which it made the grass quiver. It gave me a feeling of amazement, of happiness, of peace. It changed my day.

I got off work early today (my kids got out of school early too). I wanted to surprise them and spend the few hours I had before class with them. We talked about the day, the weather, and what the future brings. We laughed and teased. We hugged and smiled.

When I got out of class I talked to a friend. We shared dreams, wants, and much laughter. It warmed my heart.

I got home and sat outside to see the clear dark sky with millions of bright stars. It was so peaceful, so serene, so perfect. The wind was still, the night was silent, and the stars were bright. What a perfect night.

These are the moments in life that I live for.

Reading...

I am super excited as when I returned home my book that I purchased was waiting for me. I am now the proud owner of "The Element Encyclopedia of Birthdays". I have skimmed through and read my kids birthdays and a few other days.

As I have said before I do not live my life for horoscopes or astrology; however, I do have an interest. I like to compare them to my day and see how correct that they are. Sometimes they are dead on and other times they are completely off mark. Regardless, it entertains me.

Who would notice?

Do you ever think of who would actually care? I do. Sometimes I wonder if people would attempt to find me if I wasn't around. Who would notice if I was gone? Seen this picture and it made me think of that very thought.



Don't get me wrong, I have the best friends and family in the world and if they don't hear from me in a few days they become stalkers...well the ones I talk to on a daily basis do. It makes a person feel really good to know that they are thought about and missed.

Disclaimer: I am not saying run away to see who will come after you--that is a bit dramatic.

Encyclopedia of Birthdays....

Today I went to the substance abuse unit at the hospital and now that they are closing in three weeks everyone is packing up their belongings. In doing this one of the counselors had a book laying out "The Element Encyclopedia of Birthdays". Now most know that I love astrology. In saying this, it does not mean that I live by horoscopes or astrology, but I do enjoy reading about different possibilities.

Well, a bit about the book--you basically look up the day you were born and it lists "your true personality and reveals your destiny"--so it proclaims.

I do want to find this book for my collection. It was interesting.

Here is what I read on my birthday:

"The birthday of sensitive exuberance"

Like a ray of warm sunshine, the exuberant, energetic individuals born on November 18 have the ability to enliven any situation with their good cheer, optimism and humor. They are refreshingly upbeat in their approach to everyone and everything, and not surprisingly their company is much sought after.

Not only do they enjoy being the center of attention, they are also fiercely ambitious, making them natural candidates for leadership. Those who do not know them well, however, would be surprised to discover that underneath the happy face they present to the world there can be a lot of uncertainty and conflict. This is because they are unusually sensitive to the feelings of others, sometimes to the extent that they don't know where their feelings end and another person's begin. As a result, despite their clear potential and suitability to be winners or innovators in life, they often end up feeling confused, purposeless and directionless.

If they can find a way to balance their sensitivity toward others with their ambitious urge to realize their own life goals, their success is assured. If, however, the balance tilts in either direction they can lose a sense of direction; the indecisiveness that results can stunt their psychological growth, blocking their chances of professional and personal success.

Until the age of thirty-three there is an emphasis in their lives on issues relating to freedom, adventure and expansion. They may want to study, travel or experiment with their choice of career in these years. After the age of thirty-four there is an important turning point when they are likely to become more responsible, precise and practical in their approach to life, seeking structure and order. Whatever age they are, however, they need to use their sharp and probing mind to investigate their own power and potential. This is because with greater self-awareness and greater belief in their star potential--and a lot of dedication and hard work--these vivacious individuals can achieve almost anything they set their mind to.

LOVE (Exceptionally responsive)

People born on November 18 can be fun, sexy, entertaining, responsive, and romantic as long as their partner gives them plenty of attention and affection. But if the reassurance they need isn't given, they can lapse into attention-seeking behavior and temperamental mood swings. It is important for them to make sure they are with a partner who is as giving and energetic as they are.

HEALTH (Boosting self-esteem)

People born on this day tend to have a rather negative image of themselves, and this can make them prone to stress and depression. Boosting their self-esteem is therefore absolutely crucial to both their physical and emotional health. The place to start is in their heads, and cognitive behavioral therapy techniques may be able to help them reprogram their thoughts from negative to positive. Spending more time with people who are upbeat and optimistic, and avoiding those who are glum and self-involved, will also help, as will a diet rich in fresh, natural produce and low in refined or processed foods. Regular moderate to vigorous exercise is also highly recommended for its mood-boosting and health-boosting effects, as well as for building up discipline and will-power. Carrying a tiger's eye crystal or placing it next to their bed at night will have a balancing and calming effect, promoting greater confidence and courage.

CAREER (Born innovators)

People born on this day may be drawn to careers in science, research or technology where they can be potential innovators, as well as the world of art, music, and literature, where they can excel as writers. Once they believe more in themselves, other career options might include business, teaching, lecturing, politics, and the world of entertainment.

DESTINY (To point others in the direction of progress)

The life of people born on this day is to learn to believe in themselves and their creativity more. Once they are able to discover their sense of purpose, their destiny is to achieve or point the way to tangible progress on behalf of themselves and others.

YOUR GREATEST CHALLENGE IS....BEING DECISIVE. The way forward is to ask yourself when choosing between options what you really want to happen, not what others expect. Once you are attuned to your feelings, decision making gets a whole lot easier.

YOU'RE DRAWN TO PEOPLE BORN ON....March 21 to April 19. You are both energetic and outgoing, and this can be a passionate and fulfilling union.

LUCK MATTER....BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. How lucky you are in life is directly related to how much you believe you are worthy of luck. The more you think that success and happiness are your birthright, the luckier you will behave and be.

ON THE DARK SIDE---Needy, moody, and confused.

AT YOUR BEST---Innovative, entertaining, vivacious.

POWER THOUGHT--"I believe in myself. Anything is possible."

SIGNS & SYMBOLS

Sun sign: Scorpio
Ruling planet: Mars, the warrior
Symbol: The Scorpion
Birth date ruler: Mars, the warrior
Tarot card: The Moon (imagination)
Favorable numbers: 2 & 9
Lucky days: Tuesday, especially when these days fall on 2 and 9 of the month.
Lucky colors: All shades of red
Birthstone: Topaz

What side of brain do you use?

I was sitting here thinking about what side of the brain do I use. I mean I figure that I use both my right side and my left side but I am curious to know what side I use normally--what my dominant side is.

I did some research and came to an optical illusion of a woman spinning on one leg. If you seen her spinning clockwise you use your right side and if you see her spinning counter clockwise you use your left side of your brain. Well, it didn't seem to help me much as I could see her spin both ways---both counter clockwise and clockwise. Well, it seems to me that this is more of an optical illusion over a "test" to know what side of the brain I use.

Here is a link to the spinning woman:
http://www.where-what-how-why.com/?p=111

As I was skeptical of the spinning woman I decided to take a "quiz" to see what my results would be. As for the quiz I use my left side of my brain more than my right side. Hmm...

Which Side of your Brain Do You Use? Your Result: Left Side   The left side of the brain processes information in a linear manner. It processes from part to whole. It takes pieces, lines them up, and arranges them in a logical order; then it draws conclusions. You look at the details not the big picture. You use logic not imagination. The left brained person is a list maker. You would enjoy making master schedules and and daily planning. Learning things in sequence is easy for you. You are probability a good speller. Left-brained people memorize vocabulary words or math formulas better. You also use logic. When you read and listen, you look for the pieces so that you can draw logical conclusions. The left side of the brain deals with things the way they are-with reality. When left brain students are affected by the environment, they usually adjust to it. Left brain people want to know the rules and follow them. So basically you are smart! Congratulations!
Right Side
Which Side of your Brain Do You Use? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Basically, it goes like this:

Left Brain:

Logical

Sequential

Rational

Analytical

Objective

Looks at parts

Right Brain:

Random

Intuitive

Holistic Synthesizing

Subjective

Looks at wholes

As, I do see myself as using both parts of my brain, I do have to agree that I am left side dominant. (although I am a horrible speller and I am pretty random)

Next couple of weekends...

I am super excited over my next couple of weekends.

I will be in Des Moines this up coming weekend--which is always a good time. The following weekend is the little black dress party in Cedar Rapids/Iowa City.

Des Moines is always a welcomed trip as every night that I have spent there has been--lets say for lose of better words--interesting. I am sure that this night will be the same.

The little black dress party is going to be a blast. It always is when my best friend and I get together. There will be a group of us that will be going to celebrate two friends birthdays. I have my dress and accessories and can't wait to go out and make a fool of myself. It seems that alcohol brings that out in me.

Needless to say I am looking forward to both nights!!

Easter Morning

I did what a mother does, I waited for the kids to fall asleep and than I hid the Easter eggs through the living room. The boys woke up at 5:45 in the morning and down to Tiana's room they went to wake her too.

As I get up and walk to the living room, I notice that a lot of the eggs are not where I put them. Confused as there was a pile of them on the middle of the living room floor. I sit down on the couch and than Einstein shows himself. He was knocking them down and batting them around the room.

The kids found all the eggs and than the fun begins. We hide plastic eggs as my kids always leave me to dye the hard boiled eggs by myself. So it works better for us to just use plastic ones. I enclose candy and money in them so it works out best for them too. Dalton found the most money this year, Ian in a close second, and Tiana, well, lets say she had a pathetic finish.

It was a great to watch them hunt for the eggs and it makes me realize I don't have many more of those years left. How fast they grow. In fact, I think my kids just humor me through most of the holidays.

Now, it is time to make pina colada cake.

Love makes the world go 'round

What is true love? That is the question that a friend asked me today. It’s hard to describe love in words--none seem to quite fit. I mean words don’t seem to be able to express the feeling of love. I can say that any love is true. If you love someone—wouldn’t it be true?

I believe love is finding harmony, support and comfort in someone’s arms.
I believe that love is a great feeling of being accepted and belonging to someone’s world and accepting them in yours. That there is a permanent smile in your heart.

Love equals life. Life with someone and for that someone; when nothing else matters and yet everything does.

Confused yet?

Love is being happy, but not for yourself— but for the other person. Sometimes this means letting go to let the other person be happy.

A person that is so extraordinary and spectacular that when they look at you they touch your very soul. They can speak to your heart with just a smile. Thier kiss makes the world seem to stand still.

When this person smiles at you they speak to your heart--you know everything is going to be okay.

Love is when you prefer to be together through hard times rather than having it easy separately.

It is fighting for what you think is right for the both of you. It is holding on and hanging in each time things go wrong. It is supporting each other in the smallest and biggest of decisions or actions. Love is standing by when the whole world turns its back to you. It is being there even if they didn’t ask you. Love is knowing that they would do the same.

Love equals power.

Love gives the power to someone to destroy you, to hurt you, to break your heart, but trusting them not to. No matter what goes on or how badly you fight or what mistakes you make, you will love that one person without question.

Love is finding someone who is your friend, your partner, someone who is the right fit for you. This someone will touch your life so intensely and gives you a whole new reason to breathe. They will give you a reason to dream at night, a reason to wake each morning, a reason to live.

This person will make you smile when you want to cry. They will want to hear your voice before you fall asleep. They will understand you and love your quirks. They will believe in you. They will accept you. They will understand your imperfections. They will tell you daily how they feel. This person will be with you regardless of anything---nothing would matter as they would want to be there for you.

Love is a big responsibility. It is communicating; sharing thoughts, cares, concerns, wants, needs, emotions, and listening. Now don’t get me wrong. Love is a whole lot of work. It doesn’t come easy. You have to overcome challenges---fight to be together. Love means to hold on and not to let go.

Love does not just happen. You can find love but you have to work hard to keep it--to make it a beautiful union. If both people work for love you can have it for a lifetime.

After talking to my friend about what true love means to me. I did a lot of thinking—a lot of deep down thinking. I want to put my heart, my soul, my energy in to love as love is what makes the world go ‘round.

Drive back to Iowa

The trip home was long--very long.

We woke up first thing in the morning and was making great time. Dalton couldn't stand being in the car anymore so about every 45 minutes or so I had to hear "Mom, I have to go to the bathroom." It got old quick, but we always took the next exit. This made for an extended time in the car.

As the kids watched movies or played on their DSI's, I drove. I occasionally sent a text or two and actually got a lot of phone time in.

I called my dad and asked him to buy me a camero. Of course he wouldn't nor would I actually want him to. I do have to say I really, really want a camero. Maybe that is what I will get when I finally graduate--we will see.

I talked to some friends and we made plans to get together throughout the next few weeks. I got told the details to the little black dress party in the middle of April. Gave me a reason to go shopping today. I bought my dress and later in the week I get to go buy some red high heels to go with it. Should be fun.

We stopped in Missouri to see a friend. We played basketball and jumped on the trampoline. It was good to get the kids out to burn up some of their energy! I can say I was glad to be out of the car too.

Ohhh, on the trip home I was privileged enough to get pulled over and received a speeding ticket. First ticket I have got in years! Speeding tickets have gone up since my last ticket. Oh well, at least I made it all the way to Iowa before getting pulled over! Yup, I was within the last hour drive.

The trip was fun and I am very glad that we went. Hopefully I will be making the drive again this summer; however, it will be without the kids.

Kids were house shopping...

As I have said multiple times before my Aunt has been trying to get the kids and I to move to Texas. She has been suggesting that I move there since I was 14 years old! This last week was the first time that she got to try and plant the seed to move there in the kids.

We drove around her neighborhood and she had the kids pick out their favorite houses. I took pictures per the kids request of their top two picks. The kids are easier to get talked into moving to Texas. They were ready to pack up and move after the first day there.


This house is just getting finished and will be up for sale soon. So I am told by my Aunt.


Here is the other house the kids liked.

The kids liked these houses as they thought that they resembled 'castles'. Personally I had a different favorite, but am I moving? Nah, not this month.

More arcade...

Here we are playing at Chuck E. Cheese. The kids love playing the games and pretending to be in the movie. I am entertained by how the enjoy themselves.


Tiana and Dalton posing with Chuck E. Cheese. My Aunt is in the background giving bunny ears to Chuck E. Cheese!


Ian playing his favorite game...basketball. The kid is pretty darn good!


Tiana and Ian are enjoying the virtual rollercoaster.


Dalton 'riding' a horse. It was actually broken but he wanted his picture taken on the horse anyway.

Arcade

Here the kids took advantage of the arcade that was in the lodge. It was fun watching them play the games.


Ian and Tiana trying to get the ticket jackpot.


Dalton jumping to a 'virtual' jump rope. He was jumping pretty high!


Dalton trying to hit the thing when it pops up.


Tiana walking around trying to figure out what she wants to play.


Ian trying to find the right time and place to drop in his token.

Magi Quest

Here the boys are walking down the hallway after a night of swimming, arcade games, Magi Quest, and many more things that they have at the Great Wolf Lodge.


At the tree picking out the adventure.


Again at the tree completing one level and moving to the next.


Here the kids are buying and activating the Magi Wands. We were explained on how it works and given our book to follow to find our magical items. Honestly it was a lot of fun. Many families were completing the Magi Quest together. Tiana didn't care for it so she eventually went swimming while the boys and I completed a few levels.